Don’t Put The Red Chutney: Focus On What You Want

I have a question for you. Nothing serious, I’m just curious (woah that rhymes). Do you prefer your samosa with both red and green chutney, with only red or green chutney, or none? Do let me know.

In case you were wondering, I like mine just with the green chutney. Not a fan of mixing sweet and spicy things 🤷🏽‍♀️

Some time back – back when I wasn’t drowned in boards and pre boards – I was having samosa at a shop.

As my sister was getting her samosa, I noticed that they were giving both chutneys, that too, mixed. Both chutneys separately could’ve been fine and I could’ve ignored the red chutney like I ignore all my problems but mixed chutney would not be tolerated. So I overcame my social anxiety and gathered up the courage to say “Bhaiya laal chutney mat daalna” (don’t put the red chutney).

Seems reasonable enough?

Guess it wasn’t.

Because I ended up getting red chutney only 🥲 how fun.

Even though it was the shopkeeper who had slipped up, I think I was the one at fault. Because I, instead of clearly specifying what I wanted, said what I didn’t want.

You see, the human brain doesn’t really understand the negative. 

When we say “don’t put the red chutney”, it hears “put the red chutney”.

Simon Sinek demonstrates this very clearly in a video. He tells that our mind can’t really comprehend the negative.

Don’t believe me? I’ll prove it.

Don’t think of an elephant.

Gotcha, didn’t I?

It’s funny because it’s true. The more you try not to think of something, the more it’ll be on your mind.

So instead of thinking “don’t put the red chutney”, we should focus on what we want. In this case, it would be “just green chutney”.

I know it’s easier said than done but it can be done.

We just need to change how we talk to ourselves (aka our self-talk).

Instead of saying ‘I don’t wanna do this’, start saying, ‘I wanna do this’. Shift your energy to what you want for yourself. Energy flows where the attention goes. Whatever you focus on, will amplify, so it’s wiser to focus on the desirable outcomes.

If you wanna decrease your social media usage, say “I will spend more time reading a book”, instead of “I’ll spend less time on social media.” This will not only decrease your social media usage by utilising the time in something else but also redirect that energy to something better.

It takes some time and effort to make this change in yourself but it’ll be worth it, I promise.

So the next time you go out to eat or do anything for that matter, remember to focus on whatever your green chutney is.

Recap for memory:

1. The human brain cannot comprehend the negative.
2. Energy flows where the attention goes.
3. It’s better to focus on what you want, rather than what you don’t want.