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Giving is the Only Way to Receive – and It’s Priceless!

Giving is the Only Way to Receive – and It’s Priceless!

Aug 22, 2021 | 0 comments

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You must have heard that “only by giving are you able to receive more than you already have.” speech, or something similar. And no matter how many times you hear it, it can never be said enough.

Let me give you an instance that happened recently near me. I wasn’t the one involved, but I observed it.

My dad ordered Kadhai Paneer for lunch for himself and his colleague.

After they were done, they still had some of the Kadhai Paneer leftover, and since there wasn’t anyone else in the office, they gave it to the building guard.

While talking to the guard he came to know something interesting.

The guard told him that an old sickly man had come by earlier. The man asked for something to go with the few chapatis he had. The guard didn’t have much, just some dal and he gave it to the old man.

“It’s just the way of the world. I just gave plain dal and received Paneer in return”, he said, with what I assume to be gratitude.

Now my dad told me this story, and I was surprised. “Isn’t it amazing?” we both exclaimed!

The guard must have never expected to receive anything, let alone Kadhai Paneer in return for dal. And yet he did.

Many people view the power in giving with no expectation of return. When a person gives and has an expectation of receiving something back, they might start to think that the thing they’re receiving back should be better than what they gave. It’s like you have to pay for something. This way of thinking can lead to false expectations which might, in turn, lead to disappointment and thus not giving at all.

The power in giving lies in the joy that it brings about through your actions, as well as what it can do for others around you.

And you know giving doesn’t have to be elaborate. Giving could include something as simple as a smile, time or your experience. In fact, these things are remembered and valued more than tangibles.

Things you can give include (but are not restricted to):

  • your time
  • your expertise/knowledge
  • hug
  • smile
  • compliment
  • help
  • something you made
  • making someone laugh

This defies the thinking that I’ll give only when I have.

These things are free and the joy they give is priceless, and the ones who give these never have a lack of it in their own lives.

And the only ones who are willing to give are the ones who receive.

Recap for Memory

  1. Only by giving are you able to receive more than you already have
  2. There are many ways to give – a smile, a hug, a compliment or your time
  3. These things are free and the joy they give is priceless, and the ones who give these never have a lack of it in their own lives.
  4. And the only ones who are willing to give are the ones who receive.

So why don’t you try it? Give something today with no expectation of receiving anything in return and watch what happens!

If you would like me to know how this made you feel, please leave a comment!

 

You Can Be Free and Disciplined at the Same Time

You Can Be Free and Disciplined at the Same Time

Aug 15, 2021 | 2 comments

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Craving the need to be free from all constraints is nothing new. Be it our ancestors from the clutches of the British, or us trying to break free from the hold of the distracting social media.

Being able to do whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want seems to be the ultimate definition of freedom nowadays.

To some that might mean going wherever they want with their friends. To others, it could be blowing up money on something they love, without somebody nagging about it, or worse feeling guilty about it.

You’d do anything to get this kind of freedom, wouldn’t you? I know I would.

But would you be disciplined for it?

Would you ignore your temptations to be distracted and work even when you don’t feel like it?

Now you may go ahead and say, “Wait a minute. Isn’t this counter-intuitive to freedom? To ignore whatever you want to do, without a care in the world?”.

Well it might be a little counter-intuitive, but it isn’t the opposite of freedom.

Discipline seems to be the direct opposite of freedom — but they go hand in hand.

Discipline equals Freedom.

While Discipline and Freedom seem like they sit on opposite sides of the spectrum, they are actually very connected.

When you’re disciplined, you’re able to make time and space for things you want to do. When you’re disciplined, you’re able to avoid distractions and focus on what you need to do.

The reason there is such an aversion to discipline, is because since childhood you have been disciplined others, often against your will. You’ve been forced to take a nap when you just didn’t want to and eat veggies that you didn’t like. But the kind of discipline that gives you freedom is self discipline.

Early in the morning, when you’re in bed and you wanna sleep in, you might think that’s your freedom, it’s doing what you want to. But when you will wake up later in the day, you’ll have to do things, thus becoming disciplined by the circumstances.

How can we apply this to our lives?

Look for the parts in your life where you crave freedom. That is where the answer would lie. Those areas would be the one where you require discipline. If you’re looking for freedom in terms of time, you’ll have to look at managing your time better. If you’re looking for freedom with your money, look at your spending habits and see where you could cut out some unnecessary expenses.

Some areas where most people (me included) could do with a more discipline are

  • Waking up early
  • Sleeping on time
  • Working out (or just moving around in general)
  • Sticking to deadlines
  • Limiting Screen Time

Recap for memory:

  1. Getting Freedom but from discipline seems counter intuitive
  2. It’s actually self discipline that’s required
  3. The areas you crave freedom are ones that require discipline

You’re Probably Underestimating What You Know

You’re Probably Underestimating What You Know

Aug 8, 2021 | 4 comments

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Don’t know if it was just me or others too, but when I first saw a polaroid camera, I found it pretty impressive.

I knew in theory that it was just a camera of the old era but I wanted to click a photograph that would be in my hand within seconds.

After my 10th board results, I finally got it as my gift.

I was pretty thrilled by it (still am) and was in awe of it.

But as time went by, the camera felt nothing out of the ordinary to me.

Sounds familiar?

The first time you come in contact with something it just blows your mind, but as time passes,  it becomes nothing special.

This happens to all of us with different things, be it a new phone, laptop or what not.

It’s normal for our brain after repeated exposure and experience, which means you can’t get the same thrill out of it as when you first got acquainted with that object.

However, that’s not the case with others who don’t have a first hand experience of the thing.

You have seen that thing multiple times but for them it just ignites the same excitement that it gave you once.

It’s the same case with almost everything, some physical object, an idea or a skill.

One of my friends creates amazing digital art, that just blows my mind, but she literally brushes it off like it’s no big deal.

Since she is doing it for (probably) some time now, it doesn’t surprise her. But to me, the fact that one of the people I know makes something that awesome is fascinating.

This applies to what you know too.

I know that whenever I’m overwhelmed, it’s best to write down whatever is going on in my brain on paper. This allows me to view my thoughts clearly. It allows me to process what’s going on in my own brain.

Once, my best friend was stressed out and I told her the same thing. From her response, it felt like all her stress had vanished just by listening to this idea.

There’s always something you know that you underestimate. Share that with others. It might not surprise you but it might bring them excitement.

Recap for memory:

  1. The first time you come in contact with something it just blows your mind, but as time passes, it’s nothing special.
  2. That’s not the case with others who don’t have a first hand experience of the thing.
  3. Share something you know that you underestimate.

What’s something you have gotten used to but is pretty awesome?

How to Be a Better Friend to Yourself

How to Be a Better Friend to Yourself

Aug 1, 2021 | 8 comments

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You do your best to be a better friend to your loved ones. You spend time with them, be happier for their successes than they are, encourage them when they’re low, advise them, and give them comfort or truth, depending on whatever is needed.

Different people show their love in different ways. Some give gifts, some prefer spending time together. Others show that they care by simply listening to  their friends.

But there’s one person you always forget about…

That’s you.

You always manage to make time for your friends and family but rarely take out time for yourself.

After all, the only person who has been with you since the beginning, and will stay till the end is YOU.

This is exactly why you need to be a better friend to yourself.

Others might come and go but you’re here to stay, you’re the only constant.

Moreover, you might expect a certain opinion from your friends and when their opinion isn’t aligned with yours, you feel really unsure of yourself (aka validation from others). This one’s from personal experience folks.

But you’re the only person who knows your own taste. You’re the one that needs to understand where you stand.

You can still ask for others’ opinions, but at the end of the day, what you think should be the deciding factor.

Here are a few of the countless ways you can be a better friend to yourself.

Celebrate your wins

You often downplay our achievements and make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal.

You don’t have to brag about it but patting yourself on the back does feel good.

You don’t have to go all out. Quietly congratulating yourself is also enough when you’ve achieved a goal or done something noteworthy.

Saying “Wow I did it!” is totally cool.

Push Yourself

Encourage yourself to do more and push the limits the same way you’d tell your friends.

Learn to trust yourself. Trust that you can do great things.

Try to get done a little more than you could yesterday.

Be Kind to Yourself

While you try to push yourself, you may not be successful always. At that time, forgive yourself.

Don’t beat yourself. Rather, focus on what you need to do right.

Being kind to yourself also includes all those things that you know you should be doing – exercising, eating right, sleeping on time, all that good stuff.

Spend time with yourself

Allocate time to process your thoughts. Consider how you felt through out the day, what made you happy, what could have you done better, what actually happened in the day.

We tend to live days without ever looking back at them.

One of the ways for me to process my day and thoughts is journaling.

Writing things down on paper allows me look at them with a third person perspective, without my bias.

Treat Yourself

Put a little extra effort to do something special for yourself.

It could be anything from eating something nice to buying yourself something you’ve wanted for a long time. (Keep in mind this is once in a while kinda thing, you don’t wanna be spoiling yourself)

Recap for memory

  1. We try to be a better friend to others, but forget ourselves.
  2. The only person who has been with you since the beginning, and will stay till the end is YOU.
  3. You can be a better friend to yourself in many ways, including being kind and treating yourself.

P.S. It’s international friendship day, and since people already know the value of a good friend, I thought why not touch upon being there for yourself. Plus, it’s just something I needed to hear and it was good timing 🙂

Disconnecting From Your Work To Be Creative

Disconnecting From Your Work To Be Creative

Jul 25, 2021 | 0 comments

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When you have worked really hard on something, it’s easy to see it as a part of your identity.  And if it gets rejected, it feels like you have been rejected.

This is a really easy trap to fall into, because we see our ideas and suggestions as something that reflects us. But that isn’t true. It’s just an input, a representation of your knowledge on the said subject. It has nothing to do with who you are as a person.

Considering someone interchangeable with their work means ignoring all other aspects of their personality. It’s like saying that a person is just the same as their grades, or what they got on an exam (which we all know is one of the worst things to do to someone).

Realising your inputs aren’t the same as you is also freeing for yourself.

If we’re able to see things this way, then we’ll be less likely to take rejections so personally because they won’t have any bearing on our self-worth.

Moreover, it allows you to be more open to new ideas and suggestions since you are more focused on finding the best possible solution to the problem, rather than being focused on defending your idea and explaining why it’s the best (even if it isn’t).

It helps you recognise and appreciate a good idea, even if it’s from your arch nemesis. You do not feel the need to dismiss it because of your rivalry.

Plus, you don’t have the urge to put down someone else’s input because you feel that it threatens your own.

Separating yourself and your work makes it easier for you to accept the flaws and shortcomings in your work without being hard on yourself. 

You can see that the criticism is not an attack on your own identity, but rather a constructive way to improve. It would be a sign to give attention to your work, not a sign that there’s something wrong with you or you aren’t good enough.

So the next time you find yourself in a group setting defending your idea, ask yourself that you’re defending it because it’s the best or because it’s yours?

Recap for memory:

  1. Your work isn’t the same thing as you.
  2. Separating yourself from your identity can benefit you.
  3. Look at ideas, not the people they’re coming from.