Select Page
A Little Anxiety is Not All That Bad

A Little Anxiety is Not All That Bad

Feb 28, 2021 | 0 comments

Share on:

Have you been really anxious about something? Like really really anxious? Maybe about something important in your life. Well I am that much anxious for my exam tomorrow and was anxious about the previous exams. 

But as my thoughts wandered away from studies in the break, I wondered. I wondered if we would care about something if we were not anxious about it? Would I care about my exams even if I was not to be given a report card, nor was my future gonna (supposedly) depend on it? My answer was a no. 

Sure, there are things you would care about without any reason. Maybe because you have put in a lot of work in it or maybe because you just love it from the deepest corners of your heart. 

But most of the things that make us anxious don’t make it to this list of things we’d care for anyway (Because if we do love something so deeply, it makes us happy – not worried).

We mostly put efforts in the things we care about (or are anxious about) and vice versa.

So I guess anxiety is not evil as we think it to be. A little anxiety is not all that bad. Although you and me both know what a lot of anxiety can do to a person. So the ideal amount of anxiety is a midground between the two extremes.

 

Why are You Telling Me This?

Why are You Telling Me This?

Feb 21, 2021 | 0 comments

Share on:

Have you ever been in a position where a person is telling you something about them without any apparent reason? Or maybe you were that person telling someone about yourself. 

While you listen to them talk about something they like or maybe something about themselves, you wonder. You wonder why they are telling you this, or how does it make sense for them to be telling you all of that stuff? 

The chances are that even the person telling you all of this does not have the answer to this question. Even they probably do not know why they are telling you what they are telling you. 

But I guess I’ll answer it to you (on their behalf, because I myself have experienced this many times). 

This question probably arises when you two have met some time back and are not just acquaintances anymore but you don’t know if you’re friends either. You two may be friends but may be not close enough to admit and declare that you’re good friends.

But if the other person is telling you things that make you wonder about this question too, know that you guys are friends now. They are telling you whatever they’re telling because they trust you. They feel that you deserve to know this about them and that they can trust you with that information. They feel that you will not judge them for that and will laugh with them on that topic, instead of laughing at them for telling you that

Another request, if somebody is telling you something and you don’t get why they’re telling that to you (unless they go about annoying everyone about the same things), do not, I repeat, do not say “Why you’re telling me this?”. As I mentioned earlier, they’re telling that because they trust you and consider you as their friend and saying that would just shatter them I feel. So understand where they’re coming from. Honestly, even in the are case that you do not reciprocate the feeling of friendship you can maintain a distance from them by if they’re telling you something personal, just listen to it. You don’t even need to respond to it enthusiastically.

 

How High Do You Want to Keep Your Standards?

How High Do You Want to Keep Your Standards?

Feb 14, 2021 | 4 comments

Share on:

Okay, so here is an update no one asked for – My exams are starting from Tomorrow and I’ll be going to school to give offline exams. But the thing is that I’m not pumped up about the exams – not only because exams suck and scare the hell out of students, but also because I’d actually see my friends but still won’t be able to do anything fun with them.

Like imagine this –

You wake up in the morning, snooze the alarm for 5 more minutes which magically become 20 minutes. You get ready fast enough to be on par with your on-time routine and you walk out of your house and meet your friends on the way to the school (or your bus stop).

After discussing the last day’s amusing events that you have actually discussed the last itself, you reach the school. Upon entering your class, you scan across the room, seeing a few sleepy heads down on the table you spot your friends debating about something and coming to you asking which of them is right or wrong. You ask them to let you take a breath and at least keep your bag down.

Just like that, even you indulge in the debate. Of course until the class teacher comes in and begins the day. A few hours go by, with talking in class, with some antics and food in the exchange of periods. Then it is recess where either lunch boxes are opened for the first time in the day, or the leftover food from interchange of periods is eaten. Many times, it would be followed by you either borrowing money from someone or lending it to someone for getting food from the canteen. After a few harmless fights and arguments, and reconciliation of friends separated by sections, the pattern before the recess is repeated. 

After the final bell of the day, it is all chaos after the school gets over. Everyone has something to tell their friends and the bus engines add to the hustle bustle. You have so much to tell your friends that you talk at a supersonic speed. After all, it is only a small time before the buses leave. But this is a good type of chaos.

You are involved in some more lighthearted nonsense before you reach home, that you know will be discussed again tomorrow.

 

Sounds so good, doesn’t it? It feels so refreshing… so precious. (I won’t be able to do much of this though 😓)

Your day may not be the same as this, but it would be something along these lines if you’re a school student. Even if you are working currently, I think you could relate to a few parts of this (sorry, I don’t really know what a day in office looks like). 

After the lockdown many of us crave for a day like this a normal day like this. When covid has (physically) separated us, all we would love is to meet our loved ones, hug them and live our day just like we used to. I want this so much, that when a day like this will come, it’ll be a perfect day for me.

But that’s where the irony is; my current perfect day was actually just a normal day a year back. 

For a lot of us (possibly not for everyone), a normal day in our lives a year earlier is what we would love to have right now. Our standards for what we call a good day have actually been lowered by months of lockdown (not that we shouldn’t appreciate our daily life). The basic day for the past us is actually a good day for the present us. 

That shows that it is not the day that was good or bad. It was what we were comparing to that was making it basic or good. 

Our standards define how we look at things. What you decide is great or pathetic will dictate how you see other things. 

So it really depends upon you – How high do you want to keep your standards?

 

How to Develop and Stick to Habits

How to Develop and Stick to Habits

Feb 7, 2021 | 5 comments

Share on:

Hey there! 

Did you realise that it’s the second month of the year already? 

I think it’s a good time to look back and review if we have stuck to the habits we wanted to stick to (or alternatively, the habits we wanted to leave) at the beginning of the year.

But first let’s understand why we do what we do.

Why do we want to create or maybe leave some habits in the first place? 

It’s because we know that developing (or leaving) certain habits will improve us and help us in one way or the other. 

It is worth noting that even leaving an old habit is the same as creating a new one. If someone has a habit of waking up late, and decides to drop it, they are basically going to create a habit of waking up early. You drop one, you get one – you have a habit both ways, just what you accomplish through the habit is changed.

For the same reason that we’ll improve, we readily agree to create new habits and practices. 

But the thing is that we have trouble keeping and developing those habits. 

Many times, when we do not take action on something or do things so that it actually becomes a habit, it’s probably because we don’t care about it. And that does make sense, because how will we care about something we haven’t put in effort yet? More often than not, we tend to care about things that we have put effort in.

And not just a meagre amount of effort, what I’m talking about is literally days of effort. 

A classic example of this can be seen in multiple social media apps. The one I have observed closely is that of snapchat. Yes, you probably know that I’m talking about snapstreaks.

For those who don’t know what snapstreak (or just streak) is –  A Snapchat streak is when you send direct snaps back and forth with a friend for several consecutive days. The longer you go without breaking the chain of communication, the longer your streak is. You have to snap back within the 24 hours of the other person sending you a snap. Completing this cycle once, will be counted as streak for 1 day and streak will only start after you’ve snapped each other everyday for 3 days. The number on your streak tells for how many days consecutively you’ve been snapping your friends.

Why I brought up streaks is because nobody wants to break their streak with someone else. People try to send the snap even when they are super busy and occupied. Sometimes people even get upset if you break the streak with them. Because of course, there’s nothing more devastating than losing a streak you’ve put months of work into. Right?

Exactly. Be it streaks or something else you wouldn’t want days of effort to go in vain just because one day, you don’t feel like it or don’t want to do it. You know that if you drop it here, you’ll have to start from scratch again. So it’s better to do a small bit now, rather than doing all of the work again. 

If you are working out consecutively and don’t want to one odd day, just think that you may have to start again. Remember that your stamina and capability will decrease if you get a gap in between. So it would be wiser to work out for a small time now, rather than investing way more time in the future.

There is just one pitfall that we need to work on –  creating streaks long enough that we care about them. We need to really use our willpower to work for the first few days. These days could be the ones with maximum temptation to give up or not even start something in the first. But the good part is that the starting days are also the ones we are the most excited and energetic about. So if we leverage our enthusiasm for actually creating a long enough streak for us to care about, we are all set. 

After that you can easily thrive on the power of your streaks. You won’t even feel like dropping your habit despite you wanting to, because you have put in effort in it and you don’t want the improvement that has come about to be nullified by your inaction.

Tell me in the comments what habits have you maintained and what habits you want to develop. I have developed the habit of publishing a post every Sunday and I want to develop the habit of scheduling my day well.

 

How Bedtime Revenge Procrastination is Creeping in Your Life

How Bedtime Revenge Procrastination is Creeping in Your Life

Jan 31, 2021 | 8 comments

Share on:

Heads up –  You may feel this to be a personal attack and feel like I’m calling you out because this is gonna be that much relatable. While writing this, I felt like I was calling myself out. But trust me, it’s not a personal attack.

Okay, so now hear me out. If you are someone in the 15 to 30 age bracket, or have something that you are completely invested in during the entire day, then I am about 80% sure that the further description is going to be so you. 

During the day you are busy in the hustle bustle of your schedule – be it your school or your office. You are so preoccupied with your duties and responsibilities that you do not have the time to look around, see and actually control what is happening. 

Because you are unable to pause from our busy lives, you tend to go with the flow of whatever is happening, rather than choosing and deciding what you want to happen. We become robots carrying out the same command from one day to another. We let go of the reigns of our lives to such an extent that we feel that life is controlling us, rather than the other way round. We feel stuck and unable to escape the monotonous patterns of our daily life.

This is where you put your rescue mechanism to use. 

You take in the night as much as you can and you absolutely love them. Because it’s the only time you can be you. You have time to think, to feel and to actually process what is happening around you. It’s the time when you do things consciously. You’re aware of what you’re doing.not doing it as mechanically as a robot. Some  utilise it to study, work or prepare because they feel that it’s the quietest time they can get. 

Some people on the other hand, use the night to binge watch Netflix, complete their web series and scroll through Instagram as per their heart’s content, because they think they have worked hard enough during the day.

Neither of these people are wrong. Each to their own. 

In short, people will do anything but go to sleep. This is because they don’t want their free time – where they are free from their daily obligations – to end and start a new day. 

Feels familiar? Me too.

Interestingly enough, this phenomenon has a name. It’s called bedtime revenge procrastination.

This basically stems from the dissatisfaction caused by the inability to control our own schedules. We don’t do things we actually want to do often enough and feel more or less controlled by someone or something else.

If you look closely, you’ll notice that children don’t tend to have bedtime revenge procrastination. Sure, they don’t want to sleep, but it’s not because they want to cherish their free time, it’s because they don’t want it to end at all. It is more evident as we grow up and become more busy and laden with work. 

The reason I can make out for this observation is the fact that children do more of the things they want to, than have to.

 

After all the serious talk, is there anything that we can do to quit the bedtime revenge procrastination (basically the whole reason why we have a terrible sleep schedule)?

Well, the good news is – Yes.

Once we identify the problem, identifying the solution is not that big of a task because the more complex part of figuring out the problem is done.

The simple answer to this is – taking back the control of your day. Even though what you will be doing is told by somebody else, how, when and why you do it is all dependent upon you.

You can start by scheduling your day, and planning out how it will go. You can create time specific tasks (because just a to-do list without time given to it rarely ever gets completed). These small steps will go a long way in regaining your control over your life.

P. S. When I was a bit younger I used to feel why do people talk so much about being stuck, feeling monotonous? Are they that sad and depressed? (I was quite naive, I didn’t understand ‘depressed’ in the full meaning of the word) But it was when I myself lived my life mechanically, that I knew what it felt to be stuck. Honestly, it’s not even that big of a deal if you do, or did feel stuck at some point. It can happen with anyone. The term just seems more scary and serious than it is.

Being stuck in the same cycle is not about being sad or depressed, it’s just that you feel like just going through the days without looking forward to it. You don’t feel disconnected or emotionless, it’s nothing like that. It only feels like a break would be nice from the same thing. 

Feeling that you’re doing the same things is not necessarily something that you feel after doing that specific thing for years. Even a few repetitive days can make you feel and think this way. 

For me, I realised this through online classes because it was just a repetition of the same things over and over again. But it was just because I wasn’t conscious of what I was doing. When you start paying attention and doing things with awareness and willingness, life becomes just as interesting again; even if you are doing the same things.