Geet Vijayvergia - Geet Vijayvergia

Living Like Coder

Jun 28, 2020 | 2 comments

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“He’s super super smart. He’s a cheetah.”, dad tells us for maybe like the tenth time in the day, after talking to his new intern.

The entire WFH situation has given me some understanding of dad’s work and office, and by some I mean a lot. So much so, that my and my sister’s recent game is to guess who dad is talking to on the phone. It’s fun, give it a try.

My dad had hired a work-from-home intern during the pandemic. He’s smart and seemed nice until the time I got to know more about him from dad. Things started to go downhill after that. The problem was that he got even nicer! Exactly.

Now you must be like hold up, what’s the problem then? The problem is that he is way too nice to be around my dad, or just any parent in general. What I mean is that he’s a college guy who is doing way beyond just good in his internship and is so passionate about music that he can play like at least 3 instruments competently. Also did I mention the fact that he’s a coder and absolutely loves coding? Possibly even a genius one for all I know. We’ll call him coder for simplicity and the obvious reason that he is one.

He’s damn sharp. There’s no denying that. Once my dad sent a clipping of a financial article in his office WhatsApp group for some client reference and Coder replied saying that there’s an error in this, the calculations don’t add up. And he sent the correction too. You see what I’m talking about here?

Coder talks to my dad A.K.A. his boss about book recommendations and trying out new things like waking up at 5 in the morning, which is absolutely fine until dad tells me about it. Dad never compares me to him and I know that he never will. I even like listening to dad tell me about Coder’s intelligence until the time I start thinking about the level of achievement Coder is on, and why am I not on that level?

Honestly I am super amazed by his capabilities and I think he wasn’t the problem. My problem was me. My problem was that I wasn’t so fond of him openly (even if I low-key admire his attitude towards work) because I felt I wasn’t as good or even half as good as him.

I think all of us have felt this at some point or the other in our lives. We think why can’t we be as good as him or her? Or maybe we’ve thought this person is so amazing, I wish I could be more like them. Isn’t it? And you know sometimes we even get mildly intolerant towards the other person even though they are doing nothing but their work, that too efficiently.

I did some pondering on this prevalent human tendency to get bitter towards people who are doing better than us. And I thought all of us are pretty decent human beings and surely there must be a way to improve ourselves other than just sulking and getting envious of other people.

Guess what? There is indeed a solution.

Warning – It is quite different from what it may appear initially.

It is making comparisons. Yes, you heard it right, comparison. But it’s not comparing yourself (and lowering your self esteem in the process) to the other person. That has never done any good.

It is comparing your current situation to your own ideal situation. A situation which shows how things should be. The ideal situation does not mean a far-sighted vision that you can achieve someday. Ideal situation is just how things ought to be in your present circumstances. And it is very individual. Even though you and I could be living in the same locality, studying the same subjects, in the same school, our ideal situations will be very different. It might as well be safe to assume that both the situations will be absolutely different.

The moment you figure out your ideal situation, you’ll start seeing the gaps. And once you figure out the gaps, then filling them up is no task honestly. The thing we struggle with is figuring what we lack, isn’t it?

Take this image for example. Left one could be the current situation of your bedroom (no, I’m not attacking you personally, this just a hypothetical example). And keeping in mind the right image, or the ideal situation, you could conveniently fix up your room.

Mum shares transformation of autistic daughter's messy room ...

source: https://metro.co.uk/2019/09/14/mum-shares-incredible-one-day-transformation-autistic-daughters-messy-room-10742630/

Also note how the ideal situation is the visualisation of the best possible case of your current bedroom and not a vision of a lavish bedroom with a walk-in closet. There’s nothing wrong with having a vision like that, in fact one should have a vision to be able to reach there. But it is unrealistic, in ideal to your current situation. You can maybe achieve that vision by achieving and then upgrading your ideal situation a number of times.

Likewise, my ideal situation happened to be Coder’s current situation. With its help I can see what more I need to do. I can see that like him, if my superior, teachers in my case, has asked for some work, then I should submit it way before the deadline (which for the record I am floundering at right now). I know that when I’m asked to make one post, I should turn in four.

Go ahead, imagine your highest self and then show up as them. When you think you’re not doing something right, or you feel like you should be doing something but you aren’t, then think. Think what would the ‘ideal you’ do. And just do that. It’ll be a piece of cake to figure out what’s wrong or missing.

So edge forward and be a better you!

The Truth About Time Management

Jun 21, 2020 | 4 comments

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Furiously scribbling lines with sweaty palms, lines that barely even resemble the bar graph. Not even using a scale to draw lines, or switching to a pencil for the graph. Basically bypassing all the tactics for the “presentation” of the answer sheet. Stress building up. Still four 4-marker questions to be completed, rather even be attempted. The answer sheets are yet to be tied together. And damn. Not even 2 minutes are left for each of them. There just isn’t sufficient time. DARN IT!

Nerve-racking? Heck yes it is. This was me in my class 7 term 1 maths exam. Many would account this to not enough practice and poor time management. I agree with not enough practice. Poor time management, not so much. Because if you look at it, there isn’t any such thing as time management. Pretty unorthodox huh!

Time is constantly flowing no matter what you are doing or what you will do and when you will do it. It was, is and will continue to pass without giving a damn about how you use it. At the end of a day, both Elon Musk and Rahul Gandhi would have spent 24 hours, doesn’t matter what or how much of it they did.

With me till here? Shockers ahead 🤯😲

What do you do in time management? According to Oxford dictionary, time management is the ability to use one’s time effectively or productively, especially at work. Essentially, you decide what things you will give your time to, in the order of priority.

But how do you manage time when it does not wait or pause for anyone and continues to pass without any consideration? The answer is – You don’t. You don’t manage time.

It is actually your energy that you are managing. What you are actually doing is deciding where to put your energy, in priority order. You are deciding where to focus your energy, because that is what is in your control and it is what will exhaust, say, at the end of a day.

So it is crucially important for us to figure out how we utilise our energy, and at the same time, try and increase it.

Let’s look at a scenario – There are 24 hours (the time) in a day, out of which we can work for 20 hours at the max (you know, unless you’re a superhuman or a robotic humanoid who needs no sleep but charging maybe 🤔). If you’re lethargic, dull and inactive you’ll be able to utilise only a small portion of your productive hours. On the other hand if you’re super energetic or chirpy on some day, you may even outdo the healthy amount of working hours (16 -18 hours, maybe even 20 or more in some cases).

So you see what’s happening here? Apparently, your time has increased. But in actuality it is your energy that has increased and allowed you to do more. My physics practical teacher used to say something like this – things only seem apparent and what you are seeing need not be true. Guess he was right.

Now I could give you a laundry list on how to improve on time manag- ugh! old habits 🙄 – I meant energy management but I’m pretty sure that you already have enough of them.

Though, what I do want to give you is a heads up. Energy management is beyond sticking to time tables. It’s more about what things deserve your attention and what don’t. You need to be firm as to what occupies your mind. Not all things are worth your attention and you must remember that. The more unworthy things you’ll remove, the more energy you’ll have for things worth it, for the things that matter to you. Here’s one of my favourite quotes by a great author, L. Ron Hubbard, “Man’s worst difficulty is his inability to tell the important from the unimportant.”

P.S. I am absolutely in sync with the idea of time management but i believe it’s name is quite misleading.

So let’s start calling things and concepts – like time management – for what they really are – to energy management.

I really appreciate my dad for bringing this in my awareness. He is the one who literally spoon-fed me this and many more, non-conformist concepts so that I could see things for myself, and not for their apparentness or how it has been passed to us through everyone we know.

Why I Like Watermelon Over Muskmelon

Jun 14, 2020 | 4 comments

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It’s summer. We are self-quarantined (you better be if possible ‘cause it is the safest thing to do). And our (definitely mine) relief is Food. I felt like adding a lot of Os because I wanted food to be like a word you say with emphasis and happiness. But I dropped it for the sake of simplicity. Yeah, so back to food.

All the watery summer fruits are such a treat. And to be honest, they are the actual treat. Not junk, not bland but so refreshing, and healthy. What more could you ask for, isn’t it?

But there’s a confession. I don’t like all of them equally. I really really like watermelon over muskmelon. I know it’s not fair but what can I do? I can’t choose what my taste buds like.

Watermelon is watery and sweet (mostly) and not hard and but crisp at the same time. You get the idea. Muskmelon, on the other hand, is too soft, rarely sweet and (usually) needs to be peeled.

Oh! By the way, there’s also an out of the basket (because we have fruits here) observation I have. When you slice you need the biggest sharpest knife to slice a watermelon. And for slicing a muskmelon, you could even use a fork I guess. This reminds me of an idiom. It goes something like this, “Whether the melon falls on the knife or the knife falls on the melon, it’s the melon that suffers.”

It is the muskmelon that is being talked about because, let alone, accidentally, the watermelon is so hard to cut intentionally.

Muskmelon gets hurt so easily, even if one doesn’t intend to do so. Watermelon on the other hand isn’t hurt, even if one has the intentions to do so.

I believe that in life all of us should be watermelons too. Some of us already are and some need to be (me for example). We need to learn how to not take things to yourself and to not get hurt easily. We need to strengthen our guard, our covering. And I do not mean by strengthening the guard, to be emotionless. That’s not what I’m talking about. The watermelon is hard to cut but so rejuvenating.

The more we learn not to take things personally, the less emotionally drained we will be.

And I know that it is sometimes easier said than done. Currently I am myself a transitioning watermelon. I know it and I know I have to change it for my own peace of mind. You know it’s okay to be a muskmelon, but you should change if sometimes it feels too much. You’ll know what I am talking about if you feel it.

You know when you are a muskmelon, when you unintentionally take things to yourself, it will always be you that suffers, like the quote said. No matter whether the person wants to hurt you or not, you will be hurt because of taking it to your heart. Teacher or boss scolds you with the only intention of getting the work done, but what happens is we get hurt. Friends vent out the frustration of something else, and we think it is we who did something wrong. Sometimes, we just need to remember that people aren’t mad at us; they’re probably mad at something that is wrong in their life or occasionally at themselves.

And all the pro watermelons out there, I wish I could be a watermelon too so effortlessly.

So, be a watermelon – cool, colourful, always refreshing people, and rarely getting hurt.

A watermelon punk in rocker glasses on pink background Premium Photo

Source:https://www.freepik.com/premium-photo/watermelon-punk-rocker-glasses-pink-background_5349804.htm

Moon’s Problems

Jun 7, 2020 | 5 comments

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I wanted to do something different than writing a blog in first person. Just for a change 🤷‍♀️

So here’s a short story.

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Yesterday after crying over a math problem I couldn’t solve, I was standing on my balcony to cool down. As it is, an 8 year old third-grader has so much work to do, like filling up the cooler, folding up the dried clothes and watering the plants. And then on top of that the school just dumps down so much homework on students. They think that we have nothing to do during the holidays besides the homework. Not fair!

While looking at the neighborhood where I’ve lived for years now, my attention goes to the moon. It was the prettiest moon I had seen this month and possibly the prettiest in this year. This was definitely the moon from which all the “deep” paintings were inspired and it was the shot to show nighttime in serials, mostly vampires if I’m being honest. The perfect full moon hiding behind the black, but not jet-black clouds.

You know when you are yourself in distress, it’s easier to think that life is much simpler for the other person. To think that things are smoother for the other person than you. To think that the grass is greener on the other side. Or, rather think that the sky is clearer above the other person.

Being in a similar situation, I made an absent minded remark knowing there wasn’t anybody there but me (or at least I thought so). I muttered looking at the moon, “Your life’s so easy. Do nothing but still be admired by thousands. You just have to show up and hide behind the clouds if you wish. Sometimes you don’t even show up. You don’t have to worry about how many marks you will get on a MCQ or why didn’t your classmate invite you to her birthday party or can you fill up a bathtub with ice cream. You have it easy. Just exist and people will write poems comparing pretty people with you and BOOM! You’re a metaphor 🙄”

Mumma calls me and just when I’m about to run back to the kitchen, I hear a soft sigh. A voice came from above me, almost like a whisper. Unable to figure out where the voice was coming from, I started looking here and there. Behind the pot, below the chair, even inside the water hose. The voice spoke up again. “Pss. Pss. Up here. Look up.”

Pretty confused, I looked up at the sky. There it is. The moon. Actually talking, I mean whispering, to me.

Moon whispers again,”Hey you. Yes you. You think life’s difficult for you only? Everything is easy for me? Let me answer that for you. It’s not. Things are just as difficult for me as they are for you, cause your life is yours and my life is mine. It’s not easy for me to be working during the night shift. I get sleepy too ok? 😴 and it doesn’t end just there. I have duties too. Remember you just studied tides? I’m the one responsible for high tides and low tides. You know how hard it is to make the tides rise? It takes so much energy. And sometimes when I don’t come people don’t care. But once in a year, when I’m late, people, especially ladies make such a fuss. I am so confused. You see all these stars. They are so bright coloured. Pink, blue, yellow, red. Name it and they are in those colours. But look at me. Just boring plain white. That too scarred with so many craters.”

Okay. Woah. I did not see anything like that coming. I mindlessly just grumbled about my own issues. I think it triggered the moon. But I guess it’s ok. I got someone to vent out my problems and moon got someone to let it’s problems out. However, I do see his point.

Source: https://en.meming.world/wiki/No,_No._He%27s_Got_a_Point

I can see why the moon is – just like me – frustrated. He didn’t complain but I did. Everyone has their problems and at the same time everyone handles them differently. But cribbing about it is not the same as handling it. And thinking that someone’s life is easier than your is definitely not the solution.

Quickly realising this observation, I whisper back, “Sorry moon. I never knew you had these many responsibilities too. I’ll remember not to whine about my work. And by the way, those women fussing about you coming late are the Indian women on Karva Chauth who are annoyed because they can’t eat until you come. Bye I’ve to go now. Hope to see you tomorrow.”

And with that I left to fill up the cooler and take another look at my math problem.

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Let me know if you like the blogs better or the story. And if you like, I’d do more of the stories.

Karva Chauth – Karva Chauth is a one-day festival celebrated by Hindu women from some regions of India, especially northern India, four days after purnima in the month of Kartika.

How Events Equal To Relations

May 31, 2020 | 7 comments

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You are shy, caught up in the daily grind and aren’t usually engaged in optional events or voluntary activities? Or maybe you know someone who is? Trust me, one should definitely go for the optional events and activities as enthusiastically as a kid on Christmas. I’ve been through it myself 🤷‍♀️ Many of my best friends are in my life because I went for those opportunities.

One such time was how I met one of my current best friends. I was in the 8th standard and I was in the student council. In an event, I had been given the responsibility of supervising the students who were escorting parents inside the venue. Apart from one or two, I knew most of the kids with whom I was supposed to deal with. So I had a new acquaintance or two now.

When I came in 9th grade the sections were shuffled and I landed with a whole new lot of people. (Though I was phenomenally fortunate to end up in the same class as my best friend 🍀) Guess who was the first person I got familiar with after the people from my previous class? Of course the acquaintance. (I definitely do feel bad about addressing my now best friend as an acquaintance🙃)

With the progress of time, we became more than acquaintances. For me, it was the time we spent doing stuff like decorating the display board of our class or organising the class cupboard, or better yet, finding the class smartboard keys😂😂 that enhanced and strengthened our friendship. (I can actually feel my best friends staring at me giving me the most annoying looks and mentally making some wicked plan 🙄)

Speaking of friendship, I had also met two of my friends, brothers rather (because that is the relationship I share with them) because of a school event. Teachers’ Day to be precise. I’d say we were brought together rather than the fact we met. By our teachers.

I had terribly goofed up on the stage.

But they had my back. They didn’t let even a single ill-intended comment reach me. If it hadn’t been for them, I think I would never be able to speak on a stage. They were my mentors, for the event and beyond the coach relationship too.

You know when you practice with people, spend a major chunk of your day with them, they become a part of your life and you become a part of their life. One day, when I was just hanging out with them, one of them said, “She’s a part of our gang now”. And honestly it meant the world to me at that point. I might not have said anything, but I was beaming ear to ear and was actually on the verge of crying. Now they’ll be one of the first people to know something important about me and I literally demand to know about them when they forget to tell me. All of their friends know me and all of mine know them.

I was definitely the one in the group who was naive, to whom everything had to be explained. But any of that never bothered them. (They’re not in the school anymore and I’m pretty sure i’ll have a hard time when schools actually open) It is weird for me to see them as anything apart from being my brother. I know I can count on them for advice. Like yesterday when I asked one of them for advice whether to go for another MUN or not.

Which reminds me of another friend I made through MUN (and technically I made it through MUN because of him 😅) He was my alliance, rather many delegates’ alliance because he was the delegate of the USA. I got to really appreciate and see how the brains of students outside my own school work. I must say I was really impressed by USA’s witty replies that always made it on time without openly offending anyone. And like he said, MUN’s entire purpose is for you to know new people and build a network. And I think I accomplished that even if it was only for a handful of people. I was helped a lot by him since I was a beginner. This made me realise that it doesn’t matter if events are online or live. What matters is the human connections you make and what you learn from that program.

You know everyone does the compulsory, mandatory things. What makes you different from me is the things we do by our choice, things that are not compulsory but we still do just because we want to. They make all the difference. If all of us did the same things, would the world still be so diverse and so unique in each of its parts?

Events and functions hold the immense power of pairing us with people who we have never met and otherwise would never be able to meet. It’s like a way of the universe of making you meet new people, but that cannot happen if you don’t go to that place or don’t participate in that event.

Imagine how many of your connections you might have missed because you didn’t attend that party or you missed the opportunity of making a close friend just because you passed up on that extra shift or dance practice in school.

Now you know why to go everywhere and anywhere. Just think of it as a surprise waiting to happen, like a new chapter of your life waiting to unfold. You never know who is waiting to befriend you. All, literally all, you have to do is reach that place and everything else will just flow. And before you know, you’ll have new people in your life that are so very important to you.

Send this to the friend who you think really needs to participate more so that the wonders in their life can take place too. And let me know if you met someone because of an event too.