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You Don’t Need To Read The Complete Book

You Don’t Need To Read The Complete Book

Jul 3, 2022 | 0 comments

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A couple of weeks back, I picked up a book I had heard much about. It’s called Deep Work by Cal Newport. The book talks about the importance of working with your full focus, without any interruptions and the difference it can bring.

Prior to starting the book, I had watched quite a few videos which happened to be based on it and they were genuinely very helpful. So it was actually the videos that inspired me to read the book. 

The first few pages of the book were okay, but as I progressed further, the book started to feel long-winded and repetitive. I found myself struggling to get through paras, which usually isn’t a problem for me while reading other books (no shade to Deep Work tho).

Yet I tried pushing myself through the book in hopes of understanding the concepts better since I really liked what I had heard about it. 

But after a point, I realized I was just dragging myself through the book and not enjoying or retaining anything from it.

So I decided to stop. 

A lot of us – including me – have the mindset that if we have started a book, we must complete it, cover to cover. No ifs or buts. But that’s not true. 

If you realize that a book isn’t for you, or you’re not enjoying it, don’t force yourself to read it. You can always look up a summary of the book online, or even better – watch a video on it. There’s no shame in admitting that a book wasn’t for you, moving on and investing your time and energy in better things. 

The same goes for anything else in life. Just because you’ve signed up for something, doesn’t mean you have to continue with it if it doesn’t work out. 

There’s no harm in giving something your best shot and then moving on if it’s not for you. Life is too short to be spent struggling with something that doesn’t make you happy. I’m not saying that you should give up on everything as soon as it gets difficult. But if something isn’t working out, maybe it’s time to let it go. Your time is precious. Treat it that way.

So go ahead, read that book summary instead. It might not give you 100% gist of the book but it will be a lot better than reading something you’re not enjoying.

Why You Need To Spend Time Alone

Why You Need To Spend Time Alone

Jun 26, 2022 | 0 comments

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Here’s something about me that only a few people close to me know – if I’m doing something passive, like commuting to my classes, running errands, or doing chores, I hate being by myself. 

Doing the mundane stuff at home by myself is still somewhat tolerable. But if the situation requires me to leave the house, I’ll make extra efforts to make sure someone accompanies me.

Joining classes for entrances put me in one such situation. 

Even though there are a bunch of kids from my school there, none of the ones I knew was in my batch.

As nervous as I was about the whole thing, being in a place where you have no history felt refreshing.

Unlike my school where I was often found in the front or middle rows, here I could sit in the last row without anyone there to judge, or worse mock me for it. That’s not to say I was an outcast in school, but it felt liberating to not have anyone’s expectations of me.

I had no fixed box that I had to check all the time to make sure I was behaving in a way that people would usually expect from me in school.

Nor did I have any particular image to fit in or uphold. So, for the first time in a while, I felt like I was able to carve out a new identity for myself.

It was freeing to hang out with friends beyond the ones I already had, and not be called on by the teacher to answer because that’s what they expect of me.

It’s not that I do not like how people see me at school or I have to put up a facade. No, nothing like that. It’s just exhilarating to present yourself in a new light, from scratch.

The most important thing about this entire experience was that it only happened because I was alone. If I had gone with someone from my batch or even my school, I would’ve still been the same person they knew and the same image would’ve followed me. Unless you leave your comfort zone (you comfort people included), you won’t be able to know what all sides you have to yourselves.

So even though I’m still reluctant to be alone, I savour these experiences because I know that it helps me grow as a person. And I hope you do too.

Flip A Coin To Make Your Life Decisions

Flip A Coin To Make Your Life Decisions

Jun 19, 2022 | 0 comments

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We all have those days when we have a lot of things to do but we don’t have the mental capacity to do that. Maybe we didn’t get good enough sleep or were just unwell. 

Either way, that day you are presented with two choices – to take it easy and have a rest day, or, to gather your focus and conquer your tasks.

Both of those choices are great. They depend upon you and what you need that day. No matter what you choose to do, your day will not be wasted.

Notice that I say “choose” because often times we linger on our decisions without making a solid pick. This lingering can be a punch in the face to our ‘relaxing’ or ‘productive’ day plans. Lingering on undecided things wastes more time and mental energy than deciding on either one of them.

You must have noticed that you decide to rest but end up sneaking in your small tasks, or vice versa. In such a case, you might just end up feeling worse from the guilt of not actually working, or resting while you’re supposed to be working.

The way out from this guilt is to commit fully to whichever side you pick. If you want to rest, take a nice long nap, cosied up in your blanket with the lights off and the fan and ac on. If you feel like your tasks take priority that day, collect your focus, sit on your desk, set a timer and get to work.

Go whichever way you wanna, but don’t stand there at the crossroads. That’s a risky place with a lot of commotion.

P. S. If you find yourself unsure of which way to go, here’s a hack. I use this often when I’m stuck between two things, neither of which I am sure about. Take a coin. Assign each side of the coin to each of your alternatives. Now flip. You’ll have an answer. Hold on, it’s not the answer yet. 

Is that side of the coin the answer you were hoping for?

Yes? Good, you now have your answer.

In case that side wasn’t the one you were hoping for and your first thought is “Hmm maybe another toss?”, the other side is your answer.

If you weren’t hoping for any answer at all, the one you got is just as good as the one you didn’t.

I like this trick ‘cause it makes me realise I did want one thing more than the other, even if just a tiny bit more but I wasn’t able to put a finger on it. Ultimately you end up going with your own choice.

You Might Be Denied Entry In A Cafe For This

You Might Be Denied Entry In A Cafe For This

Jun 12, 2022 | 5 comments

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Remember my last post where I mentioned that my Mumma and I had some adventures on our day out?

This week it’s that adventure’s turn to take the spotlight.

As I had shared earlier, the area around my school is like Kota, but to UPSC students. This means there are ample study spaces, stationery shops, food stalls and cafes.

Mumma and I were waiting for my sister and we had an hour on our hands. So she took us to one of the cafes, which is sort of a high-end fancy one.

Given the fact that I was literally in jeans and a t-shirt and didn’t feel like going to a cafe, I was pretty reluctant but I went along.

When we reached there, a man attended us at the entry where he asked for our reservation. Mumma told him we didn’t have any, to which he replied the cafe is on a reservation basis only. Despite the place looking almost empty, we weren’t allowed and told that it was a company policy.

A little bit annoyed, my mom said, “Okay fine. Make a reservation for 15 minutes later.” The man at the gate gave us the number of the reservation team and said they look after the reservations and went inside the cafe.

When we tried calling the number the first time the call was declined and later on the number seemed to be switched off. So we decided to leave the place and explore other things.

We had a great time and joked about the cafe the entire day.

The same evening, out of habit, I was making a list of new cafes I saw on the same road. In the list, I include details like address, per person cost, etc. So while looking for other cafes in the same area, I stumbled across one which had a very low rating. Curious as to why it had a mere 2.6-star average, I opened up the reviews.

The consistent complaint I saw was about the staff not allowing customers in Indian/ethnic wear since it isn’t a part of their dress code.

This gave me flashbacks of the “saree not smart casual” incident from last year.

All of this made me think, “Why do restaurants, clubs, lounges and cafes have a dress code in the first place? It’s not like people are going there for work purposes.”

Apparently, this does have a very real reason, a psychological one if you may.

In a nutshell, club owners of upscale nightclubs use dress codes to signal status. They set a standard – usually more formal dress – and let potential clientele know who’s welcome and who’s not.

It’s like telling people, “This is a place for wealthy, attractive people and if you don’t look the part, you’re not getting in.”

The thing is, people want to go where they feel they fit in. They want to be around others like them – people with similar interests, backgrounds and lifestyles.

If an affluent customer wearing a suit comes in, he expects to see other people like him there. If he’s surrounded by people in ripped jeans and t-shirts, he’s gonna think of the place as below him and probably never return.

It’s like if you go to Haldiram’s and see someone in rags and tatters eating there, you are very likely to leave.

Therefore, people who don’t look like they fit the “image” of the place are less likely to be allowed in, regardless of how much money they have. This is because those people are a potential threat to the restaurant’s business from its wealthier customers.

Even though this might seem blunt I can see the logic behind it. And it didn’t take me long to add 2 and 2 and realise this was the same logic behind the “company policy on reservation” in the first cafe.

When I replay the details of the incident in my head, this becomes even clearer because of the fact that the man at the entry and gone inside the restaurant

The phone number of the “reservation team” was actually his own number and he had left to decline the call away from us and later turn off the number.

The only thoughts I have about this incident is this – it’s better to be honest and transparent about something than lie. Doesn’t matter if it’s a company, a business, a restaurant or a real person, in my opinion this is really the only way to go about building trust.

What do you think about clubs having a dress code – makes sense or straight up rude? 

Are You Treating Your Life Like A Temporary Phase?

Are You Treating Your Life Like A Temporary Phase?

Jun 5, 2022 | 6 comments

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While most kids are enjoying their summer holidays right now, a good portion of them is face to face with the one thing that decides every Indian kid’s life path – CBSE Boards.

This contrast between those enjoying and those who are toiling can also be seen in my home. While my sister is taking baking courses and preparing for her school trip to Nainital, I can be seen daydreaming about my life after boards and 12th standard with bursts of studying. And spotting me outside the home is as rare as spotting a Bengal Tiger right now. It’s not even the fact that I can’t go out because I have to study, but it’s more because I’ve built so much reluctance to step out of the home since April, pretty much how some of us felt after we weren’t in lockdown anymore but didn’t feel like going out either.

Knowing all of this, my Mumma dragged me to drop my younger sister off at the baking class with her. The class was somewhat nearby to where we lived and it was only an hour long. So dropping my sister off, coming back home and going back again to pick her up would be a foolish idea.

We decided to drop her off and roam around the market area (gedi marna if you will). The market area was the locality where my school is. That locality to UPSC aspirants is basically what Kota is to IIT aspirants, so there was no dearth of cafes or street food.

Mumma and I had some adventures, but that’s a story for another time 😂

All in all, we had a good time inquiring about all sorts of memberships – gyms, libraries (aka study groups) – and what not.

And I’m very happy that I did that. Know why?

Because I came to know that the days after my exams I had set my expectations on for actually enjoying myself, will now have to be devoted to college entrances. 

I did expect my entrances but I just thought there would be some time between boards and them to take a breather. CUET is supposed to be in July, and I thought that other universities would follow the suit.

Apparently not. My exams get over on 7th June and my entrance is on 18th June, and I have to prepare entirely new subjects for it. This means no time to slow down for me (or my friends for that matter).

If I relied entirely on waiting for my exams to get over and have fun (which to be fair I would if Mumma hadn’t forced me to come with her), I’d be pretty bummed.

I’m not convincing you to go out and have the time of your life during your exam season.

What I’m saying is – “please make sure that wherever you’re at in life, you don’t treat it like a transitory period. Don’t waste your college years wishing to already be graduated & have a job, don’t waste your single years wishing for someone to be in love with. If/when those things come, they will come in due time and they will be good. But there is nothing like looking back and feeling empty because you wasted literal years ignoring what you had because you were hoping for something better. While it’s important to better yourself and reach for your goals, don’t neglect the present because that’s where you are now and it’s your now that determines your future.”

Expecting good things from the future is the same as expecting someone else to do stuff for you – often results in disappointment. What we need to be is self-reliant and self-soothing and get the good things from the present.

As Naina from YJHD would say, “Life mein jitna bhi try karo, kuch na kuch toh chootega hi. Isliye yahin, isi pal ka mazza lete hain.”

What are some of the plans you have kept for the next phase of life? Whatever they are, find a way to do them now.