Slowing Down Your Overthinking Gear

Overthinking. 

The invisible evil of Generation Z.

The same thing which keeps so many of us up at night (apart from a few smart people. They are truly very smart.)

UGHHHHHHHHH! Care to define the accused? I kinda do. According to the Oxford Dictionary, overthinking means to think about (something) too much or for too long.

For me, and I believe for many others too, it would mean to think about others’ actions and words to the point that things become something like what is shown in the tv.

Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/145944844144789331/#:~:text=Saved%20from%20funnyjunk.com

And what happens because of this? We often jump to conclusions and end up taking things personally.

Source: https://memeguy.com/photo/291254/jumping-into-conclusions#:~:text=Likes:%201

When your friend doesn’t text you back, you feel like you’ve annoyed them till the end of this world and that’s the reason they’re not talking to you. Oh boy! Don’t even get me started on that one day when almost all of your friends don’t text back and you feel like the most worthless person alive.

You know what actually happened. They werent ignoring you. They were merely caught up in their own work or maybe forgot to check their phone (honestly, a miracle in today’s times). 

Someone cancels backs out on the plan last minute? First thoughts – they don’t wanna hangout with me. 

We hold ourselves guilty for whatever happens with us. We think it’s because of our shortcomings or maybe because we aren’t good enough.

Newsflash! That isn’t true.

We need to be a little less self-obsessed and realise that it isn’t always about us. Actually, It’s not about us in most of the cases.

When you don’t get selected for a job, chances are it was because there was someone better. Not because you weren’t good enough. And it’s not in your hands to make sure there won’t be someone better. You can only make sure you are the best you can be. 

If someone shouts on you, it’s more likely because they were angry, upset, or maybe because something was bothering them and not because you were bothering them (unless, of course you didn’t do your chores before your mom reached home. In that case, you are the reason buddy. And pretty dead too💀)

Imagine a referee taking every single word thrown his way during a match personally. They wouldn’t be very happy now, would they? They actually don’t even need to take it personally. You and I both know that the words coming from the players and the fans are not said to the referee because he’s bad. They’re simply coming because they want to be right.

When you focus on the other person’s intention – when you see the world through their lens – you know there’s no reason to take it personally.

And this my dear friends works.

But not always 😬

Because it is hard to overlook comments aimed at you. It is really hard to not question yourself when someone undermines you. That’s when you should realise that it is about you. It is about the insecurities you developed. Insecurities that even a part of you feel is true. What do you do then? You empathise with yourself. You acknowledge the flaws and remember everyone has them and that you can work on them.

You also speak up for yourself. When you speak up for yourself, tell the other person about what’s bothering you – without blaming anyone – you give the other person a chance to listen to your side of the story and take your needs into account. After  all, communication is the universal solvent.

This was my way of tackling a part (the biggest one) of overthinking. It has slowed down my overthinking gear quite a bit honestly. If you have a problem of overthinking, try these two methods consciously for a week and tell me how your week went. I’ll literally ask you.

You can check out my friend, Chehak’s blog (who knows we are awesome with our flaws too) Flawsome on the same topic, overthinking, to get another perspective on life.

This post was inspired by TED ‘How not to take things personally? By Fredrick Imbo’.