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Meanings that We Give to Things

Meanings that We Give to Things

Mar 21, 2021 | 2 comments

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Here’s another short lesson including two of many people’s favourite – shopping and Harry Potter. 

Yep, you heard it right. You already know that I like Harry Potter and I don’t absolutely love shopping but I don’t hate it either. I mean shopping is fun if you go shopping for yourself 🤷‍♀️

So this friday I went shopping and got some really cute t-shirts. One of them included an adorable blue Harry Potter t-shirt with a Hogwarts symbol that I found hidden in the back.

When I came back home, I tried all the clothes and wore the HP t-shirt for way longer than others, skipping around the house. I was tremendously glad that I got my hands on the gem and was super satisfied.

Tired of putting up with my extra energy and cheerfulness my mum finally spoke.

“I get it that you like it and it’s cute. But at the end of the day, it’s just a t-shirt.”

And I think – yes, fair point.

But then I go, “What if you had a t-shirt with Tony Robbins on it?” 

(For some context – Anthony Jay Robbins aka Tony Robbins is an American author, coach, speaker, and philanthropist. He is known for his infomercials, seminars, and self-help books including the books Unlimited Power and Awaken the Giant Within and my mother is a huge fan of him. She has even attended one of his seminars in-person.)

In response to my question, she straightened up her posture and started walking with pride. 

“Exactly!”, I said.

In my mind, I thought – that my mom was the same person, and a t-shirt would still be a t-shirt, with Tony Robbins or without.

But what would have changed would be the meaning mumma would give to the t-shirt (and even I gave to the HP t-shirt). It was how we felt that changed our perspectives.

Ain’t that the case with all things?

Things are what they are. But everyone gives them a different meaning and feels accordingly. How you feel about sleep may not be what someone feels about sleep. A small kid thinks of sleep as a compulsion he or she does because they’re parents force them to, but you may see sleep as your ultimate comfort and your escape mechanism.

And I feel that it’s an advantage. You are given a blank slate and you can make whatever you want out of it; instead of going to square one and making your own thing.

We have the power to change how we look at things and take action accordingly. Situations are purely based on the perspective we see them with. A situation remains the way it is – you have to decide whether it’s win or a loss.



Take a guess at what’s my Hogwarts house. I think it’s gonna be easy for Potterheads to catch it but let’s see. I wanna look at what house you people think I am in.

 

How the 72 Hour Rule Can Help You

How the 72 Hour Rule Can Help You

Mar 14, 2021 | 2 comments

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When you have a problem, whether it be an argument with your friend or a bad day at work or school – how often do you let the problem get to you? We let our problems affect us more than we realize, and some people aren’t even aware they are letting problems affect them. 

I was in the same boat a couple of times in the last week and have gone through this way more times than I could count in the past. 

One of the many instances involved me anxious and distressed because of the crushing stress of my subjects’ practicals. Sure, a little concern was required to get the work done and the syllabus completed, but there was definitely no need to get as panicked as I was, at the time. As I took a few deep breaths, I asked myself – if I looked back to today after merely 3 days, would it be worth the anxiety? The answer was a clear no, because I knew that as soon as I’d be done with the exams, I wouldn’t bother about it.

And this is the case with almost all of the things that worry us. Once a deadline is gone, we will not look back.

That’s where the 72 hour rule flashed in my mind after being hidden for a couple of years. 

I could not recall the exact words, but it was something along the lines of “if it won’t bother you in 72 hours, it’s not worth fretting over”.

All I could think was that it’s so damn true. Your older version will genuinely laugh over things that made younger you super upset. As you grow, the problems you face earlier don’t seem to be as difficult, just as 2+2 is not difficult to you anymore.

What was even more noteworthy was that this rule can be extended to other situations too in your life. This rule can not only be used in anxious situations, critical arguments but can also be used to control your anger.

Hurting because of someone’s words? Give it 72 hours. Furious at someone? Use the 72 hour rule. 

We often feel this extreme need to react to a situation, which can easily turn into overreactions, and even burning the bridges over the pettiest of matters. 

I think even my situation with a friend would have deteriorated had I not been preoccupied with the thoughts of the very same practicals.

He had actually behaved in a way that he had never done before and it came as a bit of a shock to me and I was ready to rant about it to my other friend (who also had her practicals).

So we decided to talk about it after we would be done with our practicals.

The next day when I woke up, I did not feel the need to vent out anything to anyone. I was surely a little mad, but nothing that couldn’t be sorted out by just talking it out.

I am not encouraging you to suppress your emotions and not speak out what you’re feeling – it is just giving yourself time to make sure that it is what you are feeling. Like i said earlier, sometimes we feel angrier about something than we actually are. If you do feel the same thing even after 72 hours go right ahead and speak your mind.

The rule is simple. Whenever something tends to upset you or someone’s actions or words infuriate you, wait for 72 hours before showing your emotions. In simpler words, hold back your immediate reaction and give yourself 72 hours before coming down to any conclusion.

Ordinarily, you will see that things have improved merely within 24 hours; as was my case. Till the 3rd day, or the 72nd hour, my friend and I were as good as usual, maybe even better. 

So sometimes, it’s good to pause before you react 🙂

Tell me about an instance where you have waited before reacting to a situation and it has actually brought about a positive effect.

 

Asking is the Beginning of Receiving

Asking is the Beginning of Receiving

Mar 7, 2021 | 1 comment

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Now that my exams are over, I have something to share with you that I learnt during that time (Don’t worry I’m not gonna tell you about physics, maths, chemistry or biology).

Have you ever felt like ‘It would be so wonderful if I could do this?’, or ‘It would be so wonderful if this was allowed?’ 

Something along those lines happened to me after my exams, during my practicals. I have PCMB, so I had to give the practicals for physics, chemistry and biotechnology and therefore, complete the respective files.

This year being the year of online classes, you can imagine how much of my (or any other student’s) practical file would be complete. It was pretty much not even started at all.

On one hand, the permission to type out physics file in a word document made the herculean task a little less scary. However, on the other hand my friends in the other section (who had different teachers) being allowed to type out every file hurt almost as much as a physical wound. 

I yearned to just type out my file, knowing I could do it much easier and faster. But, alas! I was told to write and submit the file. 

But then I wondered, “True that I have been told to submit handwritten work. But am I not allowed to type out the files? How do I know that for sure? Did I ask? Nope.”

So I decided to ask my teachers. What could be the worst? Them saying no and then I’d have to write and submit – which I’m going to do anyways. I might as well shoot my shot.

I asked my chemistry teacher if I could submit it as a typed file since the children from the other section were typing it out too. There I had a Yes!

Then I proceeded to my biotechnology teacher. I asked  her if I could turn in a typed file since I was doing the same in physics and chemistry. And there I had a Yes! Again. 

I actually turned in all three of my files typed, while most of my classmates turned in two of three files by writing them by hand, even though they too would have wanted to type them.

If you’ll ask them why they didn’t type it out, the response you’ll get is probably, “We could type the files?”. Like yeah maybe, if you asked you could. 

This was not it. I had goofed up a bit in my physics viva, and wanted to give it another shot. But the timing for school was over and the teacher still had to take viva of around 20 more students. So I really had to choose between letting my viva be as it was, or ask the teacher if I could give it another shot, in front of 20 other students who were still waiting for their turn after the school timings (not to mention the fact that I was myself eager to go home and crash out). But then again, i had nothing to lose if she said no and i guess marks to gain if she said yes.

But as you can figure out there was almost no possibility of me getting a retake. And it’s true. She did not give me a retake.

However, what did happen was that our practical teacher was also in the same room. I had attended almost every practical class (yup even online), so he knew me. 

He overheard me talking to the teacher and offered to listen to the answer instead. BOOM! There I had my yes.

It’s just that I needed to ask first, to actually get all the yes. And honestly, you may not even get a yes every time. These are just the instances that happened too close to one another and actually had a success rate. I’m sure there were instances that I got a no in. But firstly, one only tends to remember the instances which confirm or support one’s prior beliefs or values. And secondly, you have nothing to lose in case things don’t go your way. You’d still be doing them as you would do before asking about them. It’s better to ask than to assume and make a fool of yourself.

But you do need to ask for it first for being said yes (or being allowed to do it). Ask and you might receive.

It’s like the Tata Sky ads – Poochne Mein Kya Jaata Hai. 

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, take a look at these ads (even if you do know what I’m talking about you can watch the ads cause they’re quite funny).

A Little Anxiety is Not All That Bad

A Little Anxiety is Not All That Bad

Feb 28, 2021 | 0 comments

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Have you been really anxious about something? Like really really anxious? Maybe about something important in your life. Well I am that much anxious for my exam tomorrow and was anxious about the previous exams. 

But as my thoughts wandered away from studies in the break, I wondered. I wondered if we would care about something if we were not anxious about it? Would I care about my exams even if I was not to be given a report card, nor was my future gonna (supposedly) depend on it? My answer was a no. 

Sure, there are things you would care about without any reason. Maybe because you have put in a lot of work in it or maybe because you just love it from the deepest corners of your heart. 

But most of the things that make us anxious don’t make it to this list of things we’d care for anyway (Because if we do love something so deeply, it makes us happy – not worried).

We mostly put efforts in the things we care about (or are anxious about) and vice versa.

So I guess anxiety is not evil as we think it to be. A little anxiety is not all that bad. Although you and me both know what a lot of anxiety can do to a person. So the ideal amount of anxiety is a midground between the two extremes.

 

Why are You Telling Me This?

Why are You Telling Me This?

Feb 21, 2021 | 0 comments

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Have you ever been in a position where a person is telling you something about them without any apparent reason? Or maybe you were that person telling someone about yourself. 

While you listen to them talk about something they like or maybe something about themselves, you wonder. You wonder why they are telling you this, or how does it make sense for them to be telling you all of that stuff? 

The chances are that even the person telling you all of this does not have the answer to this question. Even they probably do not know why they are telling you what they are telling you. 

But I guess I’ll answer it to you (on their behalf, because I myself have experienced this many times). 

This question probably arises when you two have met some time back and are not just acquaintances anymore but you don’t know if you’re friends either. You two may be friends but may be not close enough to admit and declare that you’re good friends.

But if the other person is telling you things that make you wonder about this question too, know that you guys are friends now. They are telling you whatever they’re telling because they trust you. They feel that you deserve to know this about them and that they can trust you with that information. They feel that you will not judge them for that and will laugh with them on that topic, instead of laughing at them for telling you that

Another request, if somebody is telling you something and you don’t get why they’re telling that to you (unless they go about annoying everyone about the same things), do not, I repeat, do not say “Why you’re telling me this?”. As I mentioned earlier, they’re telling that because they trust you and consider you as their friend and saying that would just shatter them I feel. So understand where they’re coming from. Honestly, even in the are case that you do not reciprocate the feeling of friendship you can maintain a distance from them by if they’re telling you something personal, just listen to it. You don’t even need to respond to it enthusiastically.

 

How High Do You Want to Keep Your Standards?

How High Do You Want to Keep Your Standards?

Feb 14, 2021 | 4 comments

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Okay, so here is an update no one asked for – My exams are starting from Tomorrow and I’ll be going to school to give offline exams. But the thing is that I’m not pumped up about the exams – not only because exams suck and scare the hell out of students, but also because I’d actually see my friends but still won’t be able to do anything fun with them.

Like imagine this –

You wake up in the morning, snooze the alarm for 5 more minutes which magically become 20 minutes. You get ready fast enough to be on par with your on-time routine and you walk out of your house and meet your friends on the way to the school (or your bus stop).

After discussing the last day’s amusing events that you have actually discussed the last itself, you reach the school. Upon entering your class, you scan across the room, seeing a few sleepy heads down on the table you spot your friends debating about something and coming to you asking which of them is right or wrong. You ask them to let you take a breath and at least keep your bag down.

Just like that, even you indulge in the debate. Of course until the class teacher comes in and begins the day. A few hours go by, with talking in class, with some antics and food in the exchange of periods. Then it is recess where either lunch boxes are opened for the first time in the day, or the leftover food from interchange of periods is eaten. Many times, it would be followed by you either borrowing money from someone or lending it to someone for getting food from the canteen. After a few harmless fights and arguments, and reconciliation of friends separated by sections, the pattern before the recess is repeated. 

After the final bell of the day, it is all chaos after the school gets over. Everyone has something to tell their friends and the bus engines add to the hustle bustle. You have so much to tell your friends that you talk at a supersonic speed. After all, it is only a small time before the buses leave. But this is a good type of chaos.

You are involved in some more lighthearted nonsense before you reach home, that you know will be discussed again tomorrow.

 

Sounds so good, doesn’t it? It feels so refreshing… so precious. (I won’t be able to do much of this though 😓)

Your day may not be the same as this, but it would be something along these lines if you’re a school student. Even if you are working currently, I think you could relate to a few parts of this (sorry, I don’t really know what a day in office looks like). 

After the lockdown many of us crave for a day like this a normal day like this. When covid has (physically) separated us, all we would love is to meet our loved ones, hug them and live our day just like we used to. I want this so much, that when a day like this will come, it’ll be a perfect day for me.

But that’s where the irony is; my current perfect day was actually just a normal day a year back. 

For a lot of us (possibly not for everyone), a normal day in our lives a year earlier is what we would love to have right now. Our standards for what we call a good day have actually been lowered by months of lockdown (not that we shouldn’t appreciate our daily life). The basic day for the past us is actually a good day for the present us. 

That shows that it is not the day that was good or bad. It was what we were comparing to that was making it basic or good. 

Our standards define how we look at things. What you decide is great or pathetic will dictate how you see other things. 

So it really depends upon you – How high do you want to keep your standards?