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How to Develop and Stick to Habits

How to Develop and Stick to Habits

Feb 7, 2021 | 5 comments

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Hey there! 

Did you realise that it’s the second month of the year already? 

I think it’s a good time to look back and review if we have stuck to the habits we wanted to stick to (or alternatively, the habits we wanted to leave) at the beginning of the year.

But first let’s understand why we do what we do.

Why do we want to create or maybe leave some habits in the first place? 

It’s because we know that developing (or leaving) certain habits will improve us and help us in one way or the other. 

It is worth noting that even leaving an old habit is the same as creating a new one. If someone has a habit of waking up late, and decides to drop it, they are basically going to create a habit of waking up early. You drop one, you get one – you have a habit both ways, just what you accomplish through the habit is changed.

For the same reason that we’ll improve, we readily agree to create new habits and practices. 

But the thing is that we have trouble keeping and developing those habits. 

Many times, when we do not take action on something or do things so that it actually becomes a habit, it’s probably because we don’t care about it. And that does make sense, because how will we care about something we haven’t put in effort yet? More often than not, we tend to care about things that we have put effort in.

And not just a meagre amount of effort, what I’m talking about is literally days of effort. 

A classic example of this can be seen in multiple social media apps. The one I have observed closely is that of snapchat. Yes, you probably know that I’m talking about snapstreaks.

For those who don’t know what snapstreak (or just streak) is –  A Snapchat streak is when you send direct snaps back and forth with a friend for several consecutive days. The longer you go without breaking the chain of communication, the longer your streak is. You have to snap back within the 24 hours of the other person sending you a snap. Completing this cycle once, will be counted as streak for 1 day and streak will only start after you’ve snapped each other everyday for 3 days. The number on your streak tells for how many days consecutively you’ve been snapping your friends.

Why I brought up streaks is because nobody wants to break their streak with someone else. People try to send the snap even when they are super busy and occupied. Sometimes people even get upset if you break the streak with them. Because of course, there’s nothing more devastating than losing a streak you’ve put months of work into. Right?

Exactly. Be it streaks or something else you wouldn’t want days of effort to go in vain just because one day, you don’t feel like it or don’t want to do it. You know that if you drop it here, you’ll have to start from scratch again. So it’s better to do a small bit now, rather than doing all of the work again. 

If you are working out consecutively and don’t want to one odd day, just think that you may have to start again. Remember that your stamina and capability will decrease if you get a gap in between. So it would be wiser to work out for a small time now, rather than investing way more time in the future.

There is just one pitfall that we need to work on –  creating streaks long enough that we care about them. We need to really use our willpower to work for the first few days. These days could be the ones with maximum temptation to give up or not even start something in the first. But the good part is that the starting days are also the ones we are the most excited and energetic about. So if we leverage our enthusiasm for actually creating a long enough streak for us to care about, we are all set. 

After that you can easily thrive on the power of your streaks. You won’t even feel like dropping your habit despite you wanting to, because you have put in effort in it and you don’t want the improvement that has come about to be nullified by your inaction.

Tell me in the comments what habits have you maintained and what habits you want to develop. I have developed the habit of publishing a post every Sunday and I want to develop the habit of scheduling my day well.

 

How Bedtime Revenge Procrastination is Creeping in Your Life

How Bedtime Revenge Procrastination is Creeping in Your Life

Jan 31, 2021 | 8 comments

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Heads up –  You may feel this to be a personal attack and feel like I’m calling you out because this is gonna be that much relatable. While writing this, I felt like I was calling myself out. But trust me, it’s not a personal attack.

Okay, so now hear me out. If you are someone in the 15 to 30 age bracket, or have something that you are completely invested in during the entire day, then I am about 80% sure that the further description is going to be so you. 

During the day you are busy in the hustle bustle of your schedule – be it your school or your office. You are so preoccupied with your duties and responsibilities that you do not have the time to look around, see and actually control what is happening. 

Because you are unable to pause from our busy lives, you tend to go with the flow of whatever is happening, rather than choosing and deciding what you want to happen. We become robots carrying out the same command from one day to another. We let go of the reigns of our lives to such an extent that we feel that life is controlling us, rather than the other way round. We feel stuck and unable to escape the monotonous patterns of our daily life.

This is where you put your rescue mechanism to use. 

You take in the night as much as you can and you absolutely love them. Because it’s the only time you can be you. You have time to think, to feel and to actually process what is happening around you. It’s the time when you do things consciously. You’re aware of what you’re doing.not doing it as mechanically as a robot. Some  utilise it to study, work or prepare because they feel that it’s the quietest time they can get. 

Some people on the other hand, use the night to binge watch Netflix, complete their web series and scroll through Instagram as per their heart’s content, because they think they have worked hard enough during the day.

Neither of these people are wrong. Each to their own. 

In short, people will do anything but go to sleep. This is because they don’t want their free time – where they are free from their daily obligations – to end and start a new day. 

Feels familiar? Me too.

Interestingly enough, this phenomenon has a name. It’s called bedtime revenge procrastination.

This basically stems from the dissatisfaction caused by the inability to control our own schedules. We don’t do things we actually want to do often enough and feel more or less controlled by someone or something else.

If you look closely, you’ll notice that children don’t tend to have bedtime revenge procrastination. Sure, they don’t want to sleep, but it’s not because they want to cherish their free time, it’s because they don’t want it to end at all. It is more evident as we grow up and become more busy and laden with work. 

The reason I can make out for this observation is the fact that children do more of the things they want to, than have to.

 

After all the serious talk, is there anything that we can do to quit the bedtime revenge procrastination (basically the whole reason why we have a terrible sleep schedule)?

Well, the good news is – Yes.

Once we identify the problem, identifying the solution is not that big of a task because the more complex part of figuring out the problem is done.

The simple answer to this is – taking back the control of your day. Even though what you will be doing is told by somebody else, how, when and why you do it is all dependent upon you.

You can start by scheduling your day, and planning out how it will go. You can create time specific tasks (because just a to-do list without time given to it rarely ever gets completed). These small steps will go a long way in regaining your control over your life.

P. S. When I was a bit younger I used to feel why do people talk so much about being stuck, feeling monotonous? Are they that sad and depressed? (I was quite naive, I didn’t understand ‘depressed’ in the full meaning of the word) But it was when I myself lived my life mechanically, that I knew what it felt to be stuck. Honestly, it’s not even that big of a deal if you do, or did feel stuck at some point. It can happen with anyone. The term just seems more scary and serious than it is.

Being stuck in the same cycle is not about being sad or depressed, it’s just that you feel like just going through the days without looking forward to it. You don’t feel disconnected or emotionless, it’s nothing like that. It only feels like a break would be nice from the same thing. 

Feeling that you’re doing the same things is not necessarily something that you feel after doing that specific thing for years. Even a few repetitive days can make you feel and think this way. 

For me, I realised this through online classes because it was just a repetition of the same things over and over again. But it was just because I wasn’t conscious of what I was doing. When you start paying attention and doing things with awareness and willingness, life becomes just as interesting again; even if you are doing the same things.

 

The Right Time is NOW

The Right Time is NOW

Jan 24, 2021 | 5 comments

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I’ll do it when (a condition about getting something done first)

I’ll do it when I’m done with my schoolwork.

I’ll get it when (a condition about having something first)

I’ll get it when I have the perfect room.

I’ll learn it when (a condition about being free from other responsibilities)

I’ll learn it when I’m done with my exams.

I’m sure you too could complete at least one of the three sentences. 

At some point or the other, you have delayed specific activities, like something you wanted to do or learn, because you thought that there is something more important that needs our attention at the moment. We usually decide that we’ll look at the other things a bit later when we are done with what we have right now. 

In simpler words, we believed that the time was not right for it. 

If the time is not right for things, we wait and for the right time to come, so that we can do it.

But the fact is that there won’t be a right time. Time doesn’t say if it’s right or wrong for something. 

It’s we who decide if it is the right time to do something. Time is a man made concept made for our convenience and therefore, right or wrong time is created by us too.

Therefore, it is us who will have to make the time right.

More often than not, we’ll feel about something that we want to do, that we would start or pick it up later, when we have less on our plates, or we are a little less busy from our lives (hint hint – weekend).

But I’m not writing this off the cuff. This is a personal experience. Whenever there was something new that I would have to start, like learning something new, or resuming a previous hobby, I would think, ‘I’ll do this on the weekend when I am free from school and other stuff and then pay my full attention to it.’

But guess what? I could never find the time to do any of these things even at the seemingly right time – the weekend.

And why did this happen?

Because I didn’t realise that life doesn’t come to a pause on a weekend. It may slow down, or take a different route compared to the weekdays. The classes or work that you have on the weekdays may not be there, but there is still so much more to do, including the stuff from classes and work. But you won’t just get  the time to do things you want to on the weekend either, unless you plan it in your schedule. Because unless we control our time and focus, things are rarely going to happen the way we want them to.

And if you have to schedule the activities anyways, why not incorporate them on the weekdays itself? You might as well do the things you like doing with your work.


All of this being said, I am not asking you to leave all your other things and start doing things you have been procrastinating. I am only asking you to realise the fact that there won’t be any right time to do the things. Even when we reach our right time, we’ll feel some other day be more appropriate for the thing. This is why, the right time to do anything is NOW. It’s really now or never.

 

How Can a Happy List Help You?

How Can a Happy List Help You?

Jan 17, 2021 | 4 comments

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Everyone has bad days, where you don’t feel like doing anything, and neither does anything feel good. Nothing may feel right at the time, but deep down you know that things were alright earlier, and will become better again sooner or later. You may need to wait or work for it, but you know it gets better. Even though these days aren’t the best things that could happen to you, it’s okay for you to have a bad day every once in a while. But what would be wrong would be to get affected by the bad days and not trying to become better. 

What is noteworthy is the fact that the faster you feel great again, the faster you’ll be able to make things again.

But how exactly do you feel better again?

I think it’d be safe to rule out someone telling you to “cheer up”. We know that never makes things any better.

So what would help?

Listening to yourself will help. Sometimes, we get so stubborn that we will not listen to or obey anyone but ourselves. You and me both know we’ve been there, done that. 

And how do you tell yourself that you have it in you to get over this and achieve this?

You show yourself evidence. Basically, you recount the times that you have been able to achieve things in the past, and there is no reason that you can’t do it now. 

You just have to curate a list of things or incidents that have made you crazy happy in the past. It could be anytime between your birth and right now.

There’s no need to not include an item because you think ‘Oh! I was a small kid back then.’ That’s the thing we need to realise. If our younger, more naive selves could do it, then why can’t the present you do it? You’re equipped with more knowledge, experience and other resources. 

The list can include things that you were appreciated and recognised for, things that made you happy or something that you achieved. Include every tiny thing that you can in the list if it makes you happy. Make sure to put at least 100 things in this list.

We could call it the ‘happy list’, because you know, it makes you happy. 

When you have this list ready in front of you, just go through it. You’ll feel the confidence that you’ll overcome whatever you’re going through, and even a sense of comfort, in contrast to the panicking feeling you might be feeling earlier. 

You can use this list even on a good, or an average day when you need a short burst of motivation (or rather I should say self-motivation) and it’ll surely bring a smile on your face.

 

Using the Law of Conservation of Energy to Your Benefit

Using the Law of Conservation of Energy to Your Benefit

Jan 10, 2021 | 4 comments

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If you catch yourself saying “I don’t have the time or energy to do this” often, I have something for you.  

It’s The Law of conservation of energy.

The law of conservation of energy states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed – only converted from one form of energy to another.

This law is applicable all across the universe (which includes you, me and everything else there is).

It would basically mean that any type of energy, anger or calmness, activeness or lethargy, or any kind of emotion (which is a type of energy) is already there. It’s just that whatever you need in your life, needs to be activated, it needs to be harnessed and tapped into. 

You need to decide what to act upon. Whether it’ll be a kick ass exciting day or dead ass boring day depends upon you.

Both the two parts of this law may not be very evident together everywhere. You may think that the fire is giving out heat energy or the tubelight is giving out light energy. But the case is that the fire is just converting the energy of the fuel into heat energy and the tube light is converting electrical energy into light energy.  

I know that got a bit scientific but let’s move on.

Ok, so now does that mean that you already have the energy to do things you want? YES. And if you manage the energy to do those things well, you’ll automatically be able to manage your time. 

All this requires you to see what you are actually converting your energy to. That form could be anything including but not limited to your workout, screen time, assignments, or creative projects. This form could be anything because everything that you do requires energy and it will change from your energy to some other form.

Tell me what is your usual form that your energy is converted to? Mine is either converted to my assignments, blog at its best, and screen time at its worst.

What to do with new year resolutions?

What to do with new year resolutions?

Jan 3, 2021 | 14 comments

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‘New Year, New Me’

Yeah, we’re feeling it.

You’re bubbling with new year resolutions to make this year different? So am I! 

What do your resolutions include? Getting fit, eating healthy, scoring well in examinations?

Not gonna lie, mine include these too. In fact some things could be common in many people’s resolutions. Some things on the other hand differ very much, person to person.

Like mine include trying to learn football, animation, crochet and embroidery (if you know any of these things do let me know).

New Year resolutions are a wonderful concept.  A tradition in which you resolve to develop or continue good habits, change an undesired trait or behavior, accomplish a personal goal, or otherwise improve their life at the start of a new year. 

But I don’t get one thing about this. Why begin at the start of a new year?

I understand that the new year gives people hope and encouragement that they’ve done well in last year and wish to grow more this year or maybe give themselves another shot. However, isn’t this the case with months, weeks or days as well? 

Just because a year is a bigger unit of time it doesn’t mean we look forward to improving ourselves only at the beginning of the year. The same can be done for every single day.

Every day can bring out various possibilities and opportunities just as a year can bring you. You just need to be looking forward to it. 

Each month, week and day you hold the same power to bring about a change, as you hold each year.

So if you get distracted, or discontinue something for some reason, remember that you can get back up the very next day.

Have resolutions for the month, week and the day. It’ll give you something to look forward to.

Now you know what to do with your new year resolutions. Make them new day resolutions.

Happy New Year!

Tell me about your new year resolutions down below.