How to Get Your Priorities Straight

Apr 3, 2022 | 0 comments

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‘Does your bottomless to-do list scare you? Well, understandably it is pretty intimidating. There are whole lotta tasks that you gotta do, with no clue where to start from. And if that’s not bad enough, the looming deadline is just making everything worse.

But don’t worry, the Eisenhower Matrix has got your back.

It’s a decision-making tool (also time management and prioritising tool at the same time) by Dwight Eisenhower.

He was the 34th president of the United States and was said to be one of the most productive guys ever. It makes sense for him to have a trick up his sleeve.

What is the Eisenhower Matrix?

Make a square and divide it into 4 following sections (aka quadrants):

1. Important & Urgent

This section includes things that are both urgent and important to you. It could be things like studying for a test that you have tomorrow, putting up a band-aid on a bleeding finger.

These tasks are time-sensitive and hold value for you.

2. Important & Not Urgent

This section holds all those things you know you should be doing. Things that are important for you, but not exactly urgent. It could be working out, reading books, getting some downtime for yourself if you overwork yourself, or spending time with your friends and family.

3. Unimportant & Urgent

These are the tasks that need to be done (within a definite period of time) but you don’t particularly care about them. Tasks from your boss (or teacher) that need to be done ASAP, and the laundry and dishes are counted here.

4. Unimportant & Not Urgent

Deep down in your heart, even you know what these tasks are. Scrolling insta, oversleeping, or just killing time when you’ve got stuff to do are neither important nor urgent.

Now that we have all the tasks, what do we do with them? Instinctively, doing the first quadrant tasks seems like the right thing to do, and it is. But what do we do with the other three sections?

Important & Urgent – Do it. Do these tasks right away, they’re important and require your attention now.

Important & Not Urgent – Schedule it. You might not have to do these tasks immediately, but you do wanna do them. The best way to make sure you do them is by assigning them their own time slot, so when the time comes, you can’t say ‘oh I don’t have the time for it’. As a wise guy once said, “we should do important things before they become urgent”.

Unimportant & Urgent – Delegate it. These tasks sure need to be done, but who said you’re the one who has to do it? They don’t require your expertise, or any expertise for that matter and anyone can do it. Must say, teachers are pretty darn good at this quadrant. They delegate things like making lists or taking attendance to the students.

Unimportant & Not Urgent – Delete it. This is pretty self-explanatory. Just don’t do the things that fall under this quadrant. It is simple, but not easy, and I do recognise that this is easier said than done.

Note:

Mark things as important if they are important to you. If you consider something important because others think of it as important, and you give that task priority, you’re still gonna feel like you’re not getting things done. This would be true because you’d not be doing things that are important to you and then this whole exercise would just be a waste of time. Others’ standards of importance might not be the same as yours. Hope that makes sense.
Things like Netflix and social media aren’t always in the 4th quadrant. Times when you’re tired or have done enough work that you can watch them guilt-free, they can shift into the 2nd quadrant. It depends on the context and what you have on your plate at the moment. (Hence note 1).

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The Happiness You Get From Doing Something Nice

Mar 27, 2022 | 1 comment

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The happiness you get from doing something for someone else >>> any other kind of happiness
This happiness is probably the best kind of happiness. It’s just so pure and almost selfless.

But why isn’t entirely selfless, though? You decide to make your sister’s bed and I say that’s not selfless?

Well, yes and no.

As thoughtful of an act it is to do something for someone – like making their bed, getting them a snack, watering their plants or waiting for them while they’re tying their shoelace – it’s not entirely for them.

You get something out of it too. You see them happy and it fills you up with warmth and happiness too. What you get is the happiness from anticipating their happiness.

It’s kind of selfish (but in a good way) because you want to do something nice, not only because they’d be happy, but because it makes you happy too. Unconsciously, you’re looking out for yourself too.

As special as it is to be happy in doing something for someone, it’s a feeling you need to start getting for yourself too.

If we can get happy by doing something nice for someone else, imagine the contentment and peace you’d get if you did it for yourself.

There’s just one thing that you need to do to get the same feeling for yourself.

You need to see yourself as two different individuals – your past self and your future self. It’s really that simple.

Now just treat those two individuals differently.

Live in the moment in a way that you are spoiling your future self with all the love and pampering them by doing everything right for them, on time.

Spoiling your future self (FS) can look like:

Making your bed so that FS has a nice bed laid out to sleep on
Cleaning your room
Preparing and planning in advance so that FS does not have to run around at the end moment
Studying during the entire year so FS does not have multiple breakdowns.
Doing the things you hate, but you should be doing, so that your FS can reap its benefits

Similarly, treating your past self (PS) can look like being grateful to it. Sit in your neatly bed, grab a book from the bookshelf your PS arranged and sink in its gratitude. Be thankful to yourself for whatever your PS did earlier and how it’s making your life easier now.

Imagining yourself as these two individuals may not make doing hard things easier, but it’ll increase the motivation to do it. There’s someone on the other side that you want to see happy and relaxed.

You’re doing it for them, even when you’re doing it for yourself; you’re doing it for yourself, even when you’re doing it for someone else.

Hope this gave some new perspective of self-love.

Hat tip to Muchelleb for inspiring this post.

Recap for memory:

Nothing can beat the happiness that you get from doing something nice for someone else.
Spoil your future self
Thank your past self

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Growing Up Isn’t As Fun As You’d Think

Mar 20, 2022 | 1 comment

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Remember when you were a tiny little kid and all you wanted was to grow up? You wanted to hang out with your friends by yourself, stay up late, study complex subjects (yeah I once saw someone doing math with fancy looking symbols and chose to take up maths later on. Never regretted something more smh).

I was (and am) pretty much like that too. But now that these awaited moments like my school farewell and college applications are rolling around, things don’t seem as glamorous.

Seeing my older cousins hang out with their friends at cafes seemed the best thing ever while I only hung out with my friends at the park or in my lane.

Dressing up for college and events (casual kurtis in my case) showed so much potential for self-expression and not be bounded by the dress codes and the uniforms in school.

Staying up late was such a “big kid” thing to do. If you stayed up till 4 am studying, in my head it meant you were a serious student and were dedicated to your academics. (I’m in 12th, and tbh, I still don’t do this, even though with the workload I need to. Sleep>>>)

As an avid people watcher, regularly travelling to and back from somewhere in public transport has always been my dream. And places where public transport isn’t available, driving seems so freeing. It looks like the perfect activity to clear my mind after an exhausting day. (talking in present tense cause I still can’t drive)

While I’m proud to declare that I hang out with my friends at cafes now, wear kurtis to my heart’s pleasure and commute back and forth from the school by myself (I still don’t stay up till sunrise, though I’ll occasionally extend my waking hours till 1 am), these things aren’t all fun.

Hanging out cafes costs $$$, needs you to dress up to be presentable and get your ass out of the home. Choosing something to wear every other day can be somewhat of an agony, and waiting for public transport can be frustrating when you’re already tired or in a hurry. Now that I occasionally stay up late and know why it’s bad for me, I know what a gift is to get enough sleep.

This is not to say these things I get to do are no good, nor am I complaining but just pointing out the fact that they don’t look as attractive right now as they did in the past, and the past seems much more alluring. When we have actually reached this point, we can see all the shortcomings that we couldn’t see from far away. I do realise that getting to these things is a blessing.

It’s funny how when I was younger all I’d care about is growing up – not literally though, I also cared a lot about watching Mickey Mouse and Clubhouse and Handy Manny on Disney XD before going to school – but now that I’m growing up (yeah I guess I am, it feels weird to actually say it) and do most things I want to, I’d do anything to get a polio drop, to get in the dollhouse in my primary school, to come back home from school and take a 4-hour nap after which I forget what dimension or timeline I’m in.

There’s just one simple thing I’ve learnt in this whole process of wanting to grow up and wanting to be a kid again. And that is, happiness isn’t a stage. You don’t achieve it when you reach a certain age or rank in life. It’s something you learn to find in every moment, no matter where you are or what you’re doing. It’s something you create for yourself.

And I think that’s something we all need to learn.

So whether you’re a kid or an adult whose reading this, be excited for what’s coming while embracing what you have right now and wherever you are. ‘Cause, there’s no coming back and before you know it, you’ll be wanting to relive the life you’re living right now.

Bottom Line

Growing up isn’t always glamorous as it seems and that happiness isn’t a stage that can be reached, but is something that can be found in every moment.

P.S. As I was writing this post, I did realise that it is somewhere along the lines of this post, and even though a good portion is similar, I thought there was still something to add.

P.P. S. As much as I’d love to be a kid again, I never wanna take permission to go to the washroom ever again.

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Don’t Put The Red Chutney: Focus On What You Want

Mar 13, 2022 | 2 comments

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I have a question for you. Nothing serious, I’m just curious (woah that rhymes). Do you prefer your samosa with both red and green chutney, with only red or green chutney, or none? Do let me know.

In case you were wondering, I like mine just with the green chutney. Not a fan of mixing sweet and spicy things 🤷🏽‍♀️

Some time back – back when I wasn’t drowned in boards and pre boards – I was having samosa at a shop.

As my sister was getting her samosa, I noticed that they were giving both chutneys, that too, mixed. Both chutneys separately could’ve been fine and I could’ve ignored the red chutney like I ignore all my problems but mixed chutney would not be tolerated. So I overcame my social anxiety and gathered up the courage to say “Bhaiya laal chutney mat daalna” (don’t put the red chutney).

Seems reasonable enough?

Guess it wasn’t.

Because I ended up getting red chutney only 🥲 how fun.

Even though it was the shopkeeper who had slipped up, I think I was the one at fault. Because I, instead of clearly specifying what I wanted, said what I didn’t want.

You see, the human brain doesn’t really understand the negative.

When we say “don’t put the red chutney”, it hears “put the red chutney”.

Simon Sinek demonstrates this very clearly in a video. He tells that our mind can’t really comprehend the negative.

Don’t believe me? I’ll prove it.

Don’t think of an elephant.

Gotcha, didn’t I?

It’s funny because it’s true. The more you try not to think of something, the more it’ll be on your mind.

So instead of thinking “don’t put the red chutney”, we should focus on what we want. In this case, it would be “just green chutney”.

I know it’s easier said than done but it can be done.

We just need to change how we talk to ourselves (aka our self-talk).

Instead of saying ‘I don’t wanna do this’, start saying, ‘I wanna do this’. Shift your energy to what you want for yourself. Energy flows where the attention goes. Whatever you focus on, will amplify, so it’s wiser to focus on the desirable outcomes.

If you wanna decrease your social media usage, say “I will spend more time reading a book”, instead of “I’ll spend less time on social media.” This will not only decrease your social media usage by utilising the time in something else but also redirect that energy to something better.

It takes some time and effort to make this change in yourself but it’ll be worth it, I promise.

So the next time you go out to eat or do anything for that matter, remember to focus on whatever your green chutney is.

Recap for memory:

The human brain cannot comprehend the negative.
Energy flows where the attention goes.
It’s better to focus on what you want, rather than what you don’t want.

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The Tale Of The Bamboo Tree

Mar 6, 2022 | 0 comments

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I’m thrilled to be writing this post. “Why?”, you may ask. Well, it’s something special that I’ll be talking about at the end of the post.

Getting back to the post.

I haven’t told (or retold for that matter) a story in a long time, so we’re doing one today.

Once there was a man. No matter how hard he worked, he seemed to get nothing but failure in return. Frustrated with his life and seeing no other escape, he went to the forest to exile himself.

In the forest, he saw a hermit and asked him, “Give me one good reason to not quit. I’ve been working day and night but seeing no results.”

The hermit pointed towards something in front of them.

“See that bamboo tree?”, the hermit said.

“Yes”, the man nodded.

“When I had sown the bamboo seed, I took great care of it. I watered it, fertilised it and looked after it for weeks. Even made sure it got enough sunlight. But no matter what I did, the bamboo did not seem to grow for months. Much like your situation right now. Forget months, I repeated the same drill year over year for four years. For all those years, the plant didn’t grow, even by an inch. Yet I continued to water it.

By the fifth year, a tiny leaf sprouted out of the earth and within six months the sprout became 100 feet tall.

Now the right question to ask is whether the seed was lying dormant for the first four years, only to grow exponentially in the fifth?”

The man was too puzzled to respond.

Answering his own question the hermit said, “The correct answer would be that the seed wasn’t dormant. Even though there was no growth on the surface, there was growth nonetheless. It was growing beneath the surface. The plant was strengthening its foundation for exponential growth. Had it not taken its time to form the network underground, it wouldn’t be able to sustain the growth that was to come. Even though the actual bamboo plant above the ground looks like it has grown taller overnight, you and I know that’s far from the truth.”

The man understood the hermit’s point. The effort he was putting in at work wasn’t all in vain. It was actually the foundation for the success that would begin to sprout. He had learned the value of hard work and persistence that day.

This story is a great reminder that the results we see might not be immediate, but if we keep working hard and stay persistent, we’ll eventually see the fruits of our labour. People will see the ‘overnight success’ but only you’ll know the amount of time and effort invested in it.

Bottom Line

The bamboo tree is a parable to our own progress. Often, signs of progress are slow, frustrating and unrewarding at times.

But it is so worth it….especially if we can be patient and persistent.

P. S. As I had mentioned at the beginning of the post, there’s something I’m very excited about. And that thing is… *drumrolls*

THIS POST!

You might be wondering what’s so special about this post. Well, to be honest, this post specifically is nothing special in itself. But if we consider all of the posts that I’ve written to date, this one is my 100th post.

When I had begun writing my blog, 100 posts seemed to be an unimaginable task. It was as humongous as traversing entire India on foot – possible but difficult. Honestly, I had expected myself to fall off track after maybe 4 posts. But I’m glad I proved myself wrong, and I couldn’t be happier about that.

Even though I can see no bamboo growing above the ground, I can feel my foundation strengthening and expanding itself.

Few of you might know this, but in the beginning, I had decided to publish a book after I’d completed 100 posts. That book would be a compilation of 100 weeks of the rambling I had done 😀

At that time it was just wishful thinking, but now it’s very close to a reality that I will share with all of you and the world!

(Real-time update: I didn’t expect my hands to shiver from excitement while writing this but here we are)

That was all for my announcements. Thank you for reading my little experiments and experiences and contributing to them in one way or another. I’m forever grateful for you.

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How To Beat The Afternoon Slump

Feb 27, 2022 | 2 comments

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Do you ever feel like you can’t focus in the afternoon? That your energy is dipping and it’s hard to get anything done? You don’t feel as productive or motivated and even the work you do is of lower quality. Well, you’re not alone. Way more people than you can count experience the same thing every day, maybe at the same time you experience it 👀

The phenomenon in question is known as an ‘afternoon slump’.

It’s due to something called the ‘circadian rhythm’. It’s like a biological clock that decides when you wake up or go to sleep and even controls your hormones, body temperature and blood pressure.

It’s also responsible for producing melatonin – yeah the thing that makes you sleep well – at night, and stops its production when it’s time to wake up. When something has so much under its control, understandably it spills over to other things as well.

I mean to say that the circadian rhythm also influences our energy and focus levels throughout the day. While we’re super energetic during some parts of the day, we can be the absolute opposite during other times. For example, our energy levels drop massively during the night, but we don’t notice it because we’re asleep.

Many people’s cognitive abilities steadily increase until they reach their peak focus levels in the late morning between 10 am to 12 pm.

After that, our energy levels decline sharping landing us in the afternoon slump. This occurs about 7 hours after waking up; which is between 1 pm to 4 pm for most people. This is the time when we feel distracted, groggy or unmotivated to work.

The slump is followed by some hours of alertness and energy, but as the night approaches, our melatonin levels start to increase, thereby repeating this cycle all over again.

Even though the rhythm is different for different individuals, the overall pattern remains pretty much the same.

alertness levels graph

As you can see, our alertness drops mid-afternoon. Even though the slump is bound to happen, a few factors can worsen or improve the curve.

Sleep

People consider it smart to work late at night because they get a few extra hours to work. What they don’t realise is that it is counter-productive for the following day because they are more likely to wake up exhausted and won’t be able to focus on their work. So the fix is actually to get a good night’s sleep that allows you to wake up fresh and rejuvenated, which further allows you to work efficiently.

Eat a balanced lunch

Having a heavy meal full of carbs causes a rapid spike in our blood sugar levels. This sounds like we’ll get more energy. But the thing is that the blood sugar drops just as fast as it had spiked, leaving us more fatigued than earlier. Therefore, it’s better to have a lunch containing protein, fibre and fat (things that take longer to digest, keep you full for longer, and don’t cause a sudden spike), instead of just simple carbs.

Move you body

If you have the option, go for sunlight for some time. It does wonders for your health and also sends a signal to the circadian rhythm, “Hey, the sun’s still out and shining. We don’t need any sleep right now, we’re all good.”

Taking a walk is also a great idea because it gets your blood flowing which increases alertness. Detach from work, move your body, and enjoy some company (or be alone if you have been dealing with people all day).

Take a power nap

You need to take a nap to relax your body and mind. This is why your nap should be just long enough that your body gets time to relax. A 10-20 mins nap is a good fit. Much longer than this and you’ll begin to feel sleepy. That will not only make it harder for you to wake up due to sleep inertia but will also mess up your sleep cycle.

Do easy tasks

It’s better to schedule easy-going light tasks, which have fewer chances of you making errors during this period. They will neither require much of your focus nor will they demand your attention at a later point in time when you’re more alert.

A few more tips

You can also try a few more things like drinking water, doing a plank or a pushup, listening to songs and switching up your tasks to get more variety.

Tell me what are your ways to handle the afternoon slump?

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